Dear Grammys, We Can Be Friends Again
Hey there, Grammys -- remember when we broke up with you last year? Well, it seems we've made a mistake. We take it all back. We are back on professionally.
So LL Cool J hosted again last night, same as last year, and it turns out he's still boring. But here's the thing: We can still forgive your indiscretions from last year, even though you're insistent on putting that pretty, pretty man onstage to host when he should really just be sitting down because his hosting skills are a total yawn. Want to know why? Two words: Imagine Kendrick.
Yep, Imagine Kendrick. The Imagine Dragons and Kendrick Lamar collab was, in very technical terms, fucking awesome. That one performance redeemed you so hard, and seriously, we kind of wanted to jump your awards show bones for it.
Kendrick Lamar and Imagine Dragons were too damn different to collide styles, at least in our brains. The collab made no sense, in theory. It shouldn't have worked, really. But when Imagine Dragons and Kendrick collided on that stage in the midst of some fuckin' insane bass drumming and chaos, something about it set the whole damn world on fire and made me love both them both that much more.
And our disdain for you went that way as well. Sure, we were mad as hell at the whole "cutting off the only performance worth a shit" thing from last year, but this made up for it. Think of it as the Grinch heart growing by way of Kendrick beating the hell out of a drum while the lyrics of "Radioactive" rung out. Basically, it was awesome and we kind of wanted to drunk dial you after we started to see how much you'd grown.
But the thing is, it wasn't just Imagine Dragons and Kendrick Lamar that blew shit up. You somehow managed to throw in a few more really decent performances as well. Remember that whole Macklemore & Ryan Lewis performance where all the folks -- gay, straight, or otherwise -- got married alongside each other by Queen Latifah during "Same Love?" Well, that was also amazing. Macklemore was preaching up there. Every word was solid, and he meant them all. That's some valid stuff right there.
And really. How sweet is it to see a bunch of couples, all of whom are so different on the exterior, proclaiming their love for each other while Macklemore proclaims that we're really all the same in love? It's cool, Grammys. It was cool that you did that, and we've gained a new respect for you from that. Love is love.
Also, Madonna was in some sort of weird Boss Hogg getup, and it made us laugh somethin' fierce. It's like you knew she'd lighten the moment with her ego.
You had Pharrell, Stevie Wonder, and the Daft Punk robots up there killing it, too. Stevie Wonder? Really? It's like someone sat down with you last year and explained to you that Jack White sucks, and you should really try to do better, and you listened.
Even the Queens of the Stone Age collab with Trent Reznor played out much better than anticipated. Even though Reznor's vocals were whisper-quiet over all those insane guitars, it's still worth it to watch Dave Grohl back behind that drum kit, all Animal-muppet-like, with his crazy hair and insane talent.
Sure, there were some touchy moments. The Hunter Hayes repeat from last year really does not need to go for a third. He's awful. Like, honestly bad. And we kinda got excited when "Photograph" was announced, with the whole thinking it might be Def Leppard and all. But it turned out to be Ringo Starr instead, so it was fine.
Lorde's performance was a little strange, and she needs to stop it with that whole Alanis Morisette jerky-dance ripoff, but even that was still pretty tolerable. Plus she seemed genuinely shocked and a little bit stoked to win her awards, and she's a young'un, that one, so she gets a pass.
We could have done without our good friend Blake Shelton, though. Even his obvious admiration for the country legends standing next to him -- Merle Haggard and Willie Nelson -- he's just kind of a walking ego.
But all in all, this year was pretty damn rad, even with Shelton's face across the TV screen. And it's kinda painful to admit that. We were looking forward to hate-watching you after last year, with the whole "this entire thing sucks" thing that happened. But you did good, Grammys. We can cosign on this one.
Just one thing, though? Maybe don't position Kasey Musgraves as the follow-up to the fuckin' best performance of the night next year. As cute as she is, and as rad as her light-up cowboy boots are, it's paint cannons or bust, man. Paint cannons or bust.
Congrats, Grammys. You're back on our good side. Let's keep it that way, eh?
ROCKS OFF'S GREATEST HITS
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