Whenever I hear that a new song sensation is sweeping the radio waves, I do two things. First, I take a moment to try and remember what radio is and whether or not it matters (spoiler: it doesn't). Second, I wait approximately three to five days for a Doctor Who-inspired version to end up on YouTube.
In this way I manage to experience all the earworminess of modern pop radio without being force to wed them to terrible lyrics by terrible people about terrible things. I just get to go on about my day pretending every song is secretly about The Doctor anyway.
If you're of the same ilk, here are five of the biggest pop hits of the past several years that have been Doctored (I kill me) for a Whovian's tastes.
5. "Doctor Who" (after "22," Taylor Swift) Doctor Who parody songs fall roughly into two categories. The first are songs about Doctor Who itself; weirdly, the second is songs about watching the show. Granted, it's well-known that Whovians are a particularly intense lot likely to burst into tears at a moment's notice while sitting on the couch on Saturdays, which is the sort of thing that binds people better than the straitjacket we probably need.
In that second category, I find Mismatched Marz's take on Taylor Swift's "22" to be the best of the lot. She's got a hell of a voice and a gift for a really digging into the heart of fandom.
4. "Tick Tock Goes the Clock" (after "Tik Tok," Kesha) Believe it or not, I actually heard this version of "Tik Tok" before I'd even heard of Kesha...which led to me learning about Kesha...which contributed to the overall drinking problem, but that's not important. Speaker is the man behind it, and it's nice to see a song more focused on Eleven than Ten for a change. Nothing wrong with David Tennant, of course, but most songs tend to be more like, well...
3. "Time Travel Maybe" (after "Call Me Maybe," Carly Rae Jepsen) That's Yukeh taking on "Call Me Maybe," a song that if you could collect royalties on parodies would probably make Carly Rae Jepsen the richest musician since Nero (The emperor, not those guys that hang with Skrillex). It's a great cover, even if it's Tennant fangirl fodder for the most part. Also, does anyone else find her saying, "So land it, baby" to be, like, really pornographic? Just me? OK.
List continues on the next page.
2. "Do You Want to Steal a Tardis?" (after "Do You Want to Build a Snowman?", Frozen I have a five-year-old girl, which means that I have heard every song on the Frozen soundtrack approximately all the times. In between beltings of "Let It Go" with some rather interesting vocabulary substitutions I managed to steer her towards this version of "Do You Want to Build a Snowman" by North Rory.
In all honesty, I love this silly thing more than any possibility of a young Doctor and Master film, which is apparently still limping its way along despite its Kickstarter failing miserably. Plus, if you imagine it with the weird robot Master from "Scream of the Shalka," it actually feels like something Disney would do.
1. "Sonic Screwdriver" (after "Telephone," Lady Gaga & Beyonce) We're going to end with another Speaker piece, this one an ode to the sonic screwdriver set to the music of Lady Gaga's "Telephone." Of all the Doctor Who parodies, it's the one that most feels like a truly professional, almost Weird Al-level satirical effort. Plus, it moves nicely across all three of the modern Doctors right down to Captain Jack mocking it to Nine's face at the end.
Any other great ones we missed? Let us know!
ROCKS OFF'S GREATEST HITS
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