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So let me get this straight. This week, I found out I'm a wanted fugitive in La Grange. My Rogaine foam isn't working, and I found a few gray hairs in my beard. And I still have no idea what to get my special lady friend for Christmas.
Now, I wake from slumber to find that Mrs. Drenched in Blog, Lily Allen, is pregnant. Not with a new album, but with a baby. Inside her body. That apparently one of the Chemical Brothers put in there. All the British press is aflutter today over the "good" news.
What's that rattle? How did a king cobra get in my bedroom? Ahhhhh! – Craig Hlavaty