FAIL: Crystal Bowersox, Bee Gees, Dave Matthews, M.I.A.

FAIL: Crystal Bowersox, Bee Gees, Dave Matthews, M.I.A.

American Idol Runner-Up: Kick Her While She's Fail: In case you haven't heard, Crystal Bowersox was kicked off American Idol when it was revealed that her entire career path had simply been one of Hurley's delusions while still locked up in the psych ward, and that Seacrest Island had never even been real in the first place. She was the final contestant eliminated, which means that the winner of this season's American Idol was, in fact... note to self: Remember to look up the name of whichever vanilla Midwest-friendly sack of sap won this year. It's bad enough to lose out on being the number one idol of America - we guess... doesn't seem to matter either way in the long run - but not only that, she got dumped by her boyfriend the same day. Apparently this guy "Big Tony" wasn't cool with the lifestyle. Not cool with being associated with a monstrous, soulless hype machine now in its decline? Pssh, whatever, dude. We think Bowersox will probably be okay; she's cute, talented, and even better, now she doesn't have to allow herself to be ground up in the gears of American Idol's massive fail engine that keeps producing "winners" whose albums tank so hard they leave craters in the Billboard Top 20. Ruben Studdard won, you know, not Clay Aiken. We want you guys to remember that, because you sure as hell don't remember Ruben. Maybe he and Big Tony can hook up for a collaboration.

FAIL: Crystal Bowersox, Bee Gees, Dave Matthews, M.I.A.

Robin, Do You Have Anything To Add?: Axl Rose. Courtney Love. Eminem. Robin Gibb. All are artists known for causing trouble, ticking time bombs feared as much for their destructive temperaments as they are beloved for their music. This week, it was Gibb's turn to cause a scene, when he erupted and began throwing a swear-intensive tantrum at London's Heathrow airport after being randomly selected for a pat-down search. Really, it's the airport's own fault for poking a sleeping bear; Gibb and his brother Barry have a long history of sudden, violent explosions, threatening to "gut you like a fish," "put you in the ground" and claiming to never be more than a few feet from a gun. When Rocks Off contacted Gibb and asked if he had any further details on the incident, Gibb muttered "No. No I don't," and hung up. Oddly enough, over the phone he sounds a lot like Justin Timberlake doing a terrible Australian accent.

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