A little while ago, everyone's favorite party guru Andrew WK finally completed his lifelong dream of breaking the world record for Longest Drum Session in a Retail Store. It's an ultra-specific kind of world record, and currently unconfirmed by officiators Guinness, but I know in my heart of hearts that WK did it.
Now that my hero has conquered the "Everest of World Records" as I've just now decided to call it, I decided to look back on some of his peers who have also managed to make their name by becoming Guinness Superstars and breaking world records.
5. Kuzhalmannam Ramakrishnan Never heard of Kuzhalmannam Ramakrishnan? Shame on you. Spend more time in India. Okay, I'll cop to it: I didn't know who he was either until I found out that he broke the world record for Longest Concert by a Solo Artist back in 2009 by performing for 501 hours straight. That's almost 21 days.
I have no idea how he achieved that, but it was apparently verified and confirmed by the Guinness people, so there you go. Now that you know this you can never complain about having to work a little bit late ever again.
4. Miles Davis Here's one more thing not to complain about anymore: what you paid for your favorite band's latest album. Why? Back in 2002, Miles Davis fans flocked to record stores to purchase The Complete Miles Davis at Montreux, a 20-disc box set comprising the entirety of Davis's Montreux Jazz Festival performances between 1973 and 1991.
Somehow they managed to make the set chart on the Billboard jazz charts and set a world record for the Most Expensive Music Chart Entry, because the whole box would set you back a cool $250. And like you needed confirmation, this should serve as sufficient proof that the only people who listen to jazz anymore are officially rich old people.
3. Napalm Death The grindcore OGs brought home the coveted Shortest Song Ever Recorded world record for their "You Suffer," from 1987 debut album Scum.
Described by songwriter Justin Broadrick as "utterly retarded" and "ridiculous, but it was hilarious," "You Suffer" is exactly 1.316 seconds long, which is about a thousandth of the time it took for me to write this paragraph about the song, and for you to read it. Continuing the gall of their trolling, Napalm Death released the song as a 7-inch single in 1989, a novelty single if there ever was one.