The last few weeks, Internet rumors about Florence Welch being cast in the newest Star Wars film have exploded like the Death Star. The film is in its earliest creative stages, and won't have geeks lining up at theaters until 2015. Still, it's natural to start getting itchier than Chewbacca's flea-caked fur about who might appear in the latest installment.
If it's true, Welch is an inspired choice and one that bodes well for things to come. The Florence + The Machine front woman has an otherworldly aura about her. Her voice, her lithe body, that complexion that is so pale it seems to hail from the universe's furthest reaches from the sun. She's perfect.
Since George Lucas has passed the light saber over to sci-fi wunderkind J.J. Abrams, could we really expect Welch and maybe even more musicians to appear in the film? After all, Abrams is music-savvy. He's a composer, who created music for past projects like Alias and Felicity.
We live in a world where we know more about the NSA's top-secret phone-tapping programs than we know about who will wear Ewok and droid costumes in the next Star Wars movie. So take everything you read here with a grain of salt; it's all conjecture. Still, it might be fun to see these musicians fly into a galaxy far, far away:
5. MILEY CYRUS Since Disney now holds the Star Wars franchise by its spaceballs, might it exert its influence on Abrams to cast its former protégée in the hopes of a reunion? She's got acting experience and plenty of steam to her grown-up career. Now that she's had the time to go from adolescence to adulthood, why wouldn't Disney want to work with Cyrus again?
She's got new music out and her chart-topping position on the Maxim Hot 100 would help draw fanboys to the theaters.
4. WILL SMITH Although he barely qualifies as a working musician, Smith has a history in music and a history with Abrams, who also appeared in Smith's breakout motion picture, Six Degrees of Separation. The former Fresh Prince once starred in blockbuster films and, after After Earth, could use a hit movie to keep his star from fading like a yellow dwarf in the Dantooine system (just kidding, there are no stars in the Dantooine system! Duh!)
3. BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN Abrams' politics skew to the left, so he has undoubtedly rubbed elbows with The Boss at this campaign fund raiser or that DNC luncheon. It might be awkward to see someone so recognizable playing a Twi'lek or a gullipud (just kidding -- we all know gullipuds are extinct, right?!), so maybe you only want to cast Springsteen's voice.
It's got the gravel-toned wisdom of the ages, so maybe he can speak for the next CGA/animatronic Yoda-species character in the approaching trilogy (spoiler alert from 30 years ago: the original Yoda is dead!) Finally, one of the universe's wisest and most noble beings would no longer have to sound like Grover from Sesame Street.
2. KANYE WEST What's a good Star Wars movie without a heinous villain, someone for the sweet-faced Miley Cyruses and the Springsteen-voiced Jedi masters of the galaxy to fend off? If I'm sitting on the edge of my casting couch, befuddling over which egomaniacal blowhard with a God complex and a chip on his shoulder to cast as the heavy, the first person I think of is Kanyeezus. Aside from Chris Brown, is there anyone in music trying harder to be reviled than West?
I'm inclined to think West doesn't truly believe all the silly hype he creates with the nonsense he says, which means he's already acting like the villain. He's been preparing for the role, to the point of surrounding himself with odd alien life forms (Jenners/Kardashians).
1. TAYLOR SWIFT & ZEDD The longstanding rumor about the next trio of Star Wars films is they will focus on a set of male-female twins who are presumably the offspring of Han Solo and Princess Leia, who are going to be old as Tatooine dirt by then.
Solo and Leia ultimately worked because they were daring revolutionaries who also possessed the mass appeal to rule the galaxy. Their kids would naturally possess similar qualities. In Swift, you get the mass appeal. With Zedd, the German DJ best known for "Clarity" featuring Foxes, you'd get some edginess.
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If there's a handsome love interest for Swift in the movie, look for some plot point to separate them at least long enough for Taylor to grab her intergalactic guitar and write "You Left Me Faster Than the Ship That Made the Kessel Run in Under 12 Parsecs."