To hear Motley Crue tell it, Saturday night will be the last time they perform for a Houston crowd together. The glam-metal archetypes, storied rock and roll survivors all, say that this is it for them. The Final Tour. They even made a big show of signing a contract pledging never again to perform as Motley Crue. So clearly, they're serious here, guys.
But does anyone believe it? How can you? If Motley Crue has proven anything since they crawled out of some Sunset Strip gutter in the '80s, it's that they're impossible to kill. Pretty safe to assume that, like their heroes Aerosmith, KISS and Ozzy, the Crue will break up and make up (in makeup) until they're all dead. After all, if drugs, divorce, rehab and prison can't rid us of Motley Crue, a legal document-cum-press conference doesn't stand much chance, now does it?
Because let's face it, it doesn't take a lot of brainpower to come up with instances where Motley Crue clearly should have called it a day, yet clung desperately to those leather pants. Here are just a few of the most memorable times they forged on against all sanity.
5. The Time Tommy Lee Went to Prison Crue drummer Tommy Lee is still fondly remembered by many home-video connoisseurs of a certain age for his long-donged performance in the world's first superstar celebrity sextape with his then-wife, Pamela Anderson. What many, many fewer folks recall about the relationship is that Lee kinda-sorta went to prison for beating the shit out of her.
After a domestic altercation in their home in 1998, Anderson called the cops on her husband, who was charged with spousal abuse, child abuse, and possession of illegal firearms. Lee was sentenced to six months in prison, where he had to be segregated from the many, many inmates who would've loved the chance to strangle a rich, famous guy who hit the Baywatch girl. The drummer served 16 weeks, which no doubt taught him to respect women at last.
Rather than firing the drummer and retiring in shame, when Tommy was sprung, Mötley Crüe celebrated by releasing a record thoughtfully titled Greatest Hits. Keep those hands up, boys!
4. The Time Nikki Sixx Died...Again OK, sure, Nikki. You're a notorious rock and roller celebrated for his creatively hedonistic debauchery. We'll let one death slide. But two? Two deaths? Talk about excess.
The first time Crue bassist Nikki Sixx died was in 1986 at some heroin dealer's house in London. Sixx OD'd and stopped breathing, prompting the dealer, who apparently had very little medical experience, to attempt to beat the life back into him with a baseball bat. When that curiously failed, he helpfully deposited Sixx in a dumpster and fled. Satan, who's really more of a death-metal guy, rejected the bassist, returning him to the mortal plane. Sixx woke up in the garbage.
Wake-up call, right? Ha! Just a year later, when Motley was touring with Guns N' Roses, Nikki once again OD'd on heroin, this time in Slash's room at the Franklin Plaza Hotel in L.A. When the elegantly wasted party guests noticed that Sixx was turning blue, they called the paramedics. The bassist was declared dead on the ride to the hospital, but one of the paramedics was a fan, and he refused to give up. Two shots of adrenaline to the heart later, and Sixx was back on his feet long enough to hitch a ride home to shoot up again.
When your songwriter is dying on an annual basis, perhaps it's time to slow things down, yes? Maybe take your own advice and just go away? Yeah, right. This is Motley Crue!
3. The Time Vince Neil Killed That Guy By far the darkest chapter in Motley Crue's history came in 1984. The band's Finnish brothers-in-arms Hanoi Rocks were celebrating the start of their first American tour in L.A., and the party was at Vince Neil's house. Because grain alcohol was something of a priority for Motley Crue in those days, a grotesquely inebriated Neil decided to make a liquor-store run, and he brought Hanoi Rocks drummer Razzle along for the ride.
It was a short one. Neil plowed his Ford Pantera into oncoming traffic, seriously injuring the passengers in the other car and killing Razzle. After testing his BAC at .17, nearly twice the legal limit, police took Neil in for what would be a very long prison stay...of 20 days. Thanks to L.A.'s celebrity-friendly law enforcement, Vince Neil, who had just killed a good friend, walked away with a slap on the wrist, including millions in restitution to his victims and 200 hours of community service.
When the badly shaken Neil returned from the clink, Nikki Sixx welcomed him home with a bump of heroin. Why was this band allowed to exist, exactly?
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