Welcome back to Five Spot. Every Friday, we'll examine a recent bit of music news and list five reasons why it's either brilliant or dumb-assed. Send tips to email@example.com.
February 3 marked the 11th anniversary of the legendary Screwed Up Click MC Fat Pat's passing. (Soooo not brilliant.) As such, we've been on a big Mr. P-A-T kick. We're not sure if it's just the euphoria of reminiscing or not, but we're currently remembering him as being phenomenal. His voice seemed to be both bellowing and triumphant and personal and pensive all at the same time.
We're quite certain Morgan Freeman would describe him as sounding magnanimous. With respect to the obvious choices ("Tops Drop," "Swang," etc.), these are the five Fat Pat tunes you absolutely need to have on your iPod.
"25 Lighters": We're still uncertain of the lighters-to-getting-paid correlation, but that doesn't stop this from being a top 3 Fat Pat song, easy. And in the pantheon of Signature Rap Lines of All Time, "I'm so throwed in the game, Southside playa, Screwed Up Click, mayne" is near the top, too. Actually, upon reconsideration, we'd like to proclaim this the most influential song in the history of man.
"Say What": If you're looking to increase your hood credibility, one of the easiest things to do is take a line or two from any old Fat Pat song and inject it into everyday conversation. Regardless of circumstance, it automatically makes you sound more hip and people will usually give you things for being so cool. To wit:
Normally Condescending Hood Guy: Hey, man, what's going on?
You: Don't smoke the dip, I ain't gonna trip.
NCHG: Wow, that was cool that you said that. Here's $50.
Stuffy Downtown Business Suit: You've had really poor performance as of late, sir.
You: Hold up, syrup in my cup, I'm young and I'm buck, I don't give a fuck.
SDBS: You're promoted to president of the universe.
Those are actual real-life examples. If you do it, you can expect the exact same thing to happen to you.
"Dreamz": We're still not entirely sure who the first guy was to do it, but we've always enjoyed the poorly sung, somewhat goofy R&B-ish chorus that's characterized Houston rap for the better part of the last 15 years. (Z-Ro's unending support of this pastime is one of the reasons he is absolutely indispensable.)
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"Gangsta Strut": We've probably heard this song about three hundred times since we first got our hands on it and, truth be told, we still have no idea what Pat's talking about. Matter of fact, we couldn't tell you one thing about it beyond the fact that it is absolutely great - a perfect sample of what every Houston rapper wanted to sound like between 1995-98. We suspect that the sole purpose was to make you wanna get high.
"Throwed N Da Game": A tinge of Tupac is evident here ("...my money CALLMEH, I'm tryna' put a house on the hill for my mama cause I'm BALLIN"), but this is otherwise unmistakable Houston rap. In case you're curious, local rap, particularly older local rap, can be identified by the phrases "tailor-made," rhyming "punk" and "trunk" in some manner, "sippin' syrup," "no'em sayin," "it's dat boy..." or "mayne, hold up."
Class is over now. Have a good weekend.