Five Spot: John McCain Don't Need No Stinking Foo Fighters
Welcome back to Five Spot. Every Friday, we'll examine a recent bit of music news and list five reasons why it's either brilliant or dumb-assed. Send tips to email@example.com.
Those stodgy Foo Fighters are all up in arms again. Apparently, they're pissed about "The Maverick," John McCain, using 1997's mediocre The Colour And The Shape single "My Hero" as part of his campaign-trail soundtrack.
We're not entirely sure if the Foos' ire with McCain hijacking the track is ironic or not, considering the band was birthed in the throes of the post-grunge movement, a culture that celebrated for its "fuck off, I'll do what I want" attitude. We are pretty sure it's dumb-assed, though.
In the spirit of democracy, though, we've cobbled together a list of songs that may be a little more appropriate for the Maverick's campaign.
Sabrina Carpenter: The De-Tour
TicketsSun., Jul. 30, 7:00pm
I Love The 90's: The Party Continues Tour
TicketsSun., Jul. 30, 7:30pm
2 Chainz - Pretty Girls Like Trap Music Tour 2017
TicketsFri., Aug. 4, 7:00pm
TicketsSat., Aug. 5, 8:00pm
Summer Slaughter Tour
TicketsMon., Aug. 7, 2:00pm
You might think that we chose this song because of McCain's whole "I'm a renegade cowboy" vibe he's been force-feeding everyone these past few months, but, really, we chose this song because we've always had a bit of a crush on Bon Jovi. Whatever, jerks, he owns.
Anybody with an acute understanding of Welsh rock - which is pretty much everyone, we assume - knew this song was making the list. Honorable Mention goes to the Manics' stellar 1998 single, "If You Tolerate This Your Children Will Be Next" - which, in all honesty, is way more appropriate; we just happen to think the title of this one is funnier.
Like him or not, McCain's "I don't give a fuck" swagger has been curiously on point these last few months. By all indications, he's losing this election, but he seems none too fazed by this minor inconvenience. Which is exactly why we chose this next song.
It's becoming more and more apparent that, regardless of what the vote count says, McCain is moving into 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue come January. You know it's coming, we know it's coming and Phil Collins definitely knows it's coming. He can feel it coming in the air tonight.
This one seems pretty self-evident. Go ahead and make your own Ozzy/old age joke. - Shea Serrano
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