Welcome back to The Five Spot, another new Rocks Off recurrent. Every Friday (but sometimes Monday), we'll examine a recent bit of music news and list five reasons why it's either brilliant or dumb-assed. Send tips to firstname.lastname@example.org.
So we were all pumped about the songs that the enigmatic Prince leaked from his upcoming album - essentially, he called up some personnel at an L.A. indie-rock station, brainstormed about a possible non-record-label release with them, then offered up four songs for them to play.
But, as it is, we are incredibly shortsighted, and our Youtube perusal quickly veered off course. (Prince leaking songs is Brilliant, by the way.) Naturally, we started with a search for "Purple Rain," which turned up this clip.
If you somehow happened to miss seeing this movie, just watch this clip for an hour and a half. You'll be all caught up.
We were a bit more successful in our subsequent attempts. Things looked on track until a search for "Prince" brought forth this. Will Smith has always been, and will always be, our pick for sexiest man alive. Whatever. But after seeing that, we inevitably had to search out the finest acted scene in TV history...
If you've never seen it, you're jumping in at the part where Smith's dad, who has recently come back into Will's life after abandoning him as a child, is about to cancel a trip with Will so he can chase some money.
Man, talk about heartbreaking. We won't lie: we watched this all the way through. And we cried a little. And of course that led to...
Isn't he exceptionally smooth in his delivery? Which, as if you didn't know, led to Turbo's famous broom scene from Breakin'...
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Is it just us, or does this not seem like a horribly inefficient manner of sweeping? And after that, we had to watch Herbie Hancock's "Rockit"...
To this day, this remains one of the more unsettling videos we've ever seen. Who sat there and thought, "Spastic half-robots. That's what this video needs to be about." Worse yet, who agreed with that person? - Shea Serrano