According to an email Rocks Off received from none other than the World Toilet Organization, today is World Toilet Day. We're told it's an "internationally recognized" occasion for drawing attention to the plight of the 2.5 billion people on the planet who lack proper facilities. To this end (heh), they're encouraging people to participate in something called The Big Squat.
Rocks Off's knees aren't what they used to be, so we'll have to pass. You've already seen our sister blog Hair Balls' suggestions for songs to help you pinch a loaf, but we took a different swirl on the matter, if you will. After the jump, a look at songs featuring creative lyrical references to shit, as well as placing each song in a specific category. No need to thank us, it's what we're here for.
SpiritualAlice in Chains, "Man in the Box"
Layne Staley's cries for help were evident as early as their first album, when he sings of being buried (in shit) and pleads for someone to save him. Clearly the "shit" in question refers to the oppressive Pacific Northwest climate. And the someone is probably Cameron Crowe.
RomanticG.G. Allin, "Shit On My Prick"
Allin was a sensitive sort, who hid his introspective side behind songs like "A Dead Fuck" and "Drink From the Pissing Snake's Mouth." This particular song can be intepreted as a tender ode to a lover who has graciously consented to allow him rear access for the first time.
MedicalCarcass, "Malignant Defecation"
Grindcore enthusiasts Carcass show an impressive amount of anatomical know-how here, as they sing (or croak, you say "tomato") about "septic infestation" and "lacerated arteries." Rumor has it Al Gore even used "jellified innards turn to methane" as the cornerstorne for his global warming magnum opus, An Inconvenient Truth.
AgriculturalGwen Stefani, "Hollaback Girl"
Her shit is bananas? Does it come out that way? If not, she needs to patent that technology post haste. Doesn't she know there are people starving in Fresno?
MetaphorJohnny Cash, "Flushed From the Bathroom of Your Heart
The Man in Black compares his woman's heart to both a toilet and Indianapolis. Being acquainted with both, we can't say there's a hell of a lot of difference.
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Peter Vonder Haar writes movie reviews for the Houston Press and the occasional book. The first three novels in the "Clarke & Clarke Mysteries" - Lucky Town, Point Blank, and Empty Sky - are out now.