Guys Always Go for Average-Looking Girls. Help!
Welcome to Ask Willie D, Rocks Off's advice column where the Geto Boys MC answers reader questions about matters, in his own words, "funny, serious or unpredictable." Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!
Photo by Mario Jaramillo
BUMPING HEADS WITH STRICT PARENTS
Dear Willie D:
I'm a 14-year-old boy going to high school next year and can't even choose the sport I want to play without asking my parents. I make good grades, and I behave myself well. I am also responsible, and do whatever they tell me to do. But my parents treat me like I'm some bad kid; especially my mother. When I told my dad I wanted to play football my freshman year in high school he said, "ask your mother." But when I did she said absolutely not.
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She thinks I will get hurt. Maybe I will, but probably no less than any of the other players on the team. Can you tell me what to say to her so that she will let me join the team? I really want to play.
Your mother has a point. Football is a very dangerous sport. Thousands of high-school and college football players get injured each year and about a dozen die; mostly from heart conditions, heat and other non-traumatic causes. The chances are slim that you'll sustain a life-threatening injury, but it is possible. Let's say the next to worst thing happened and you became a paraplegic; it's likely that your parents would be your primary caregiver. The responsibility of driving you around, feeding you, and changing your soiled diapers would all fall on them.
It's your parents' duty to make decisions on your behalf that they think are in your best interest, even when you don't agree. So if your mom says you can't play, you can't play. With that said, generally parents want to see their children happy. If you really want to play tell your mom how passionate you are about the sport, and why.
Maybe you guys could reach a compromise by you agreeing to play a less hazardous position like kicker. But who wants to be the kicker?
HIDING MY COUSIN FROM HER ABUSIVE HUSBAND
Dear Willie D:
After six years of being beaten by the man who claimed to love her, my cousin finally left her abusive husband. Since then he has called, and visited several of my family members' homes looking for her saying that when he finds her he's going to kill her and whoever she's with. I am a wife and a mother of three.
The threats he has made have both my husband and I paranoid about my cousin living with us, but we can't just turn our backs on her. She doesn't have anywhere else to go. On the other hand, we have to protect ourselves and our small children. Also, her maniac husband is a cop so he knows the law well, and has resources to search for her. What do you think we should do?
Can't Turn Away:
Your first obligation is to your children. You and your husband are grown; you can do whatever you want with your own lives. But you don't get to gamble with the children's lives. If you're going to continue to hide out your cousin at your house, send the kids to live with a relative or friend until your cousin moves out.
All things considered, I'm really not the person to be asking advice from for something like that. You need to forward your letter to Dear Abby or somebody. Because if I were in your shoes, my cousin's abusive husband wouldn't have to find her, I would find him.
More Ask Willie D on the next page.
Dear Willie D:
For your readers who crave success I strongly encourage them reevaluate their inner circle and tighten it before they come into financial prosperity. I understand that there's a certain undercurrent of jealousy that resides in all of us when others get the things we want. But jealousy should never reach the level where it makes you bitter, and wish bad on others.
That is what I am going through with people who I thought were my friends before I became a successful real-estate broker. The slanderous comments they make behind my back in attempts to ruin my good name are cowardly and reprehensible. Why is there so much contempt for successful people?
Jealousy and insecurity comes to mind. As crazy as it seems, it's natural to hate on others. Some people are just extreme with it. How many times have you watched television or surfed the Internet and seen famous people have their character assassinated by people who don't even know them? We might not want to admit it, but at some point all of us have experienced envy for someone who seemed to be doing better than us.
The person we're envious of success might manifest itself in the form of their finances, looks, social status, education, talent, position, likeability, house, car, personality and so on. There's nothing wrong with being a little jealous of someone else's success. If you want what they have badly enough, jealousy can be a great motivator. The problem occurs when we become so consumed with the success of others that we don't have time to focus on our own.
I passed on your email address to a good friend of mine who is relocating to your area, and she will be contacting you soon. Congratulations and continued success!
WHY DO GUYS GIRLFRIEND AVERAGE GIRLS INSTEAD OF PRETTY ONES?
Dear Willie D:
I'm a cute girl, but I never get the great guys; they always go for the average-looking girl. I work with a really nice, good looking guy. When his girlfriend stopped by the office to bring him lunch the other day I was surprised she wasn't all that pleasant to look at. She wasn't ugly, but she wasn't pretty either. I know he can do better, so why doesn't he?
We are quite full of ourselves, aren't we? Since pretty is often a matter of interpretation, one person's Honda could be another's Mercedes. Often when guys are considering a girlfriend they not only look at the exterior, they also think about the interior of a woman -- her character. You don't seem like a nice person, which could be the reason why you can't get one of the good guys.
Then again, maybe you're not as pretty as you think you are.
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Ask Willie D anything at askwillied.com, and come back next Thursday for more of his best answers.
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