What do you do when your band is up for a prestigious award against the likes of Rammstein, Iron Maiden and Megadeth? If you're GWAR front "man" Oderus Urungus, you promise to get up close and personal (very personal) with anyone who votes for you.
The Richmond, Va.-based scum-metal band known for its elaborate costumes and soaking its fans in fake blood and other fluids is nominated for a 2011 Revolver Golden Gods award for Best Live Performance alongside the three aforementioned groups, as well as Avenged Sevenfold and Sevendust.
Either ensuring GWAR's victory or torpedoing their chances entirely, Urungus has vowed to exchange any Golden Gods votes for the band with a sexual favor of some kind, GWAR's PR company Freeman Promotions announced this afternoon before all but disavowing them with "It's better to let Oderus speak for himself."
And so he did:
I pledge to have sex with anyone who votes for us. It will all be arranged thru the Interweb, and on the next tour I will personally meet our supporters out behind the trash dumpsters and fuck them, suck them, whatever they want. If they don't want to do that, then I will have sex with something they own, like a dog, or a lunch-box.
I will also be glad to rough-up anyone, ya know, smack ya around a bit, throw you in the garbage, hell even kick ya in the tummy... won't kill ya though... want you to be able to brag about it to your co-workers.
Rocks Off will go ahead and say it so you don't have to: Ew. We had no idea that the Golden Gods was such a prestigious award. Enter GWAR guitarist Balsac the Jaws of Death, herewith known (for this blog only) as The Voice Of Reason.
"Oderus having sex with the fans behind the dumpster is nothing to brag about," Balsac said. "It happens all the time. But please, please, don't let Sevendust beat us."
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Freshly showered and scrubbed with a wire brush, Rocks Off thinks this is pretty funny. It's still not as funny as the stories we have heard about the lengths to which employees at local venues have gone to get out of working GWAR shows. Someone's got to clean up all that blood and jizz, after all, whether or not it's real.
Vote for GWAR (or anyone else) here. See what else Oderus is up to (if you dare) on Twitter at @therealoderus. Reflect on GWAR's last visit to Houston, where there was no dumpster sex we ever heard of, in this slideshow from House of Blues last November.