When it comes time for He Said to make a party mix, you would think he would go for some classic metal or punk rock. But you would be totally wrong. When it's time for single boys and single girls to drink, mingle and start making questionable choices, we can leave the Motorhead and AC/DC for the bedroom. Admittedly, we are suckers for glam-rock at heart. Blame all those Time-Life infomercials and our 2004 obsession with VH-1 Classic. For the final 2009 edition of He Said She Said, we gathered some of our favorite dance-party tracks for your listening and loving pleasure. There really is nothing sexier than a woman who can get down to a song by Bryan Ferry and Roxy Music. [Ed. Note: Sheesh... find me a woman who can't.] If she can do us one better and name their seminal keyboardist, then we may very well have a girlfriend on Valentine's Day after all. Gary Glitter, "Do You Want To Touch Me (Oh Yeah)" For a convicted pedophile, Gary Glitter made some pretty righteous jams. We have been trying to preach of the power of this dudes pre-pedo musical output for almost a decade now. You can't fight those drums and that chorus will have you fist-pumping like a champ.
It starts out slow like most parties inherently do, but once this disco-trash Roxy track gets going it's pure lust. In fact, the whole album (this is the title track) is required listening. It's the spiritual brother of the Rolling Stones' own grimy, discothèque-addledSome Girls
. Funny enough, Mick Jagger stole Jerry Hall from Bryan Ferry.The Normal, "Warm Leatherette"
Any time this is on, we can't help but think of the crowded dance floor at Numbers on a Friday night. Why not replicate that feeling in your garage for your New Year's shindig? Just install a strobe light, hire a guy to dress up like a Goth George Washington and get your friends to piss on the bathroom floor instead of in your toilet. Cocaine sold separately.Devo, "Girl U Want"
No song better encapsulates that feeling a man gets at a social gathering after a few drinks set in and you see something you wanna holler at. Leave it to the nerds in Devo to intimate for you and you alone what it feels like to have angst in your pants.Plastic Bertrand, "Ca Plane Pour Moi"
French punk and New Wave are unsung landscapes of untapped treasures. They found a way to turn both genres into strange plasticized versions of themselves without losing any of the weirdness and aggression. This was actually a reworked version of Elton Motello's own "Jet Boy Jet Girl," and we love both equally. Apparently, so does She Said.Tones On Tail, "Go"
Tones On Tail was the link between Bauhaus and Love and Rockets for Daniel Ash. He formed this group, which only released one album, in the wake of Bauhaus' dissolution in 1983. They started to receive more exposure after this song was included on the soundtrack to rave-murder caperParty Monster
.Adam Ant, "Stand And Deliver"
Like Gary Glitter, Adam Ant is another one of those guys who never quite gets the proper respect that he deserves. He made cool tongue-in-cheek videos while also having a firm grasp of a pop hook. He also knew how to record drums like a madman. It was hard to pick between this track and "Antmusic," quite honestly.PiL, "This Is Not a Love Song"
Many people say that the Sex Pistols paled in comparison to the work John Lydon did with Public Image Ltd., and we are slowly starting to agree. Nothing will ever top the filth and the fury ofNever Mind The Bollocks...
, but PiL sure did give it a run for its bloody, scabby money. Happily, PiL just reunited last month for a series of shows, but sadly, original members Jah Wobble and Keith Levene were not invited back.Harry Nilsson, "Jump Into The Fire"
OK, this one isn't exactly New Wave, but it's got a cold-blooded beat to it. Harry Nilsson was a phenomenal dude who hung with John Lennon and could outdrink most everyone in the room. This song sounds like it should have been a Modern Lovers track, but it predates that band's "Roadrunner" by a good two years.
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If everything goes according to plan, this is how you will be feeling before the ball drops in Times Square. Be safe, be happy and keep it between the ditches, folks. Also, ask for ID if you even have an inkling of doubt in your mind. You know who you are...