Contrary to what you may have heard up north, Texas isn't a congeries of lazy, narrow-minded, horse-riding, Dolly Parton-blasting moon calves. The truth is, we're just some easygoing folks who happen to kick ass at bar trivia. That's right, bar trivia. And it's official now that Houston's own Mezzanine Lounge has been named the smartest bar in all the lands. So says Buzztime, a popular bar and restaurant social entertainment marketing platform.

Mezzanine edged out bars and restaurants in California, Ohio, Canada, etc. to win the Smartest Bar award. We have no idea who the runner-ups are but we'd like them to come forward so we can stomp them. Or congratulate them.

Earlier this year, Buzztime (the organizer) invited thousands of bar and restaurant customers in North America to go head-to-head in a massive game of trivia (i.e. see how effectively your brain can retrieve useless information while thoroughly inebriated). No easy task. Participants had to answer questions on sports, art, history and pop culture. Buzztime determined the top scores by tallying the average of the top five players' scores. After months of trivia, eighty bars and restaurants emerged as finalists. Mezzanine clinched top honors.

In these days of Rick Perry and the Astros, Houston really needs something to brag about. So props to Mezzanine Lounge for bringing this one home. We'll be sure to tell all the ladies about your triumph.