How Many Musicians Does It Take To Screw In A Light Bulb?

Working in a sheet music store, you hear an awful lot of musician jokes, and you flip through a lot of musician joke books when trade is slow. One Rocks Off's favorite type of jokes is the "How many ____ does it take to screw in a light bulb" category, so we though we'd share some of the best ones we've heard with you.

SINGERS

How many male lead singers does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. He holds it up and the world revolves around him.

How many altos does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change it, and another to remark, "Isn't that a little high for you?"

How many female lead singers does it take to change a light bulb? None, the piano player will end up doing it.

How many singers does it take to change a light bulb? Two, one to change it, and the other to hog the light.

GUITARISTS

How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb? Twelve. One to change it, and eleven to say they could've done it better.

How many light bulbs does it take to screw a guitar player? It doesn't matter. A guitar player will screw anything.

How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to screw it in, and another one to come in the next session and screw a better one on over it.

BASS PLAYERS

How many bass players does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, the piano player can do it with his left hand.

How many bass players does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. They're so macho they walk in the dark and bark their shins.

How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? One, but the guitar player will have to show him how to do it.

DRUMMERS

How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb? None, they have machines that do that now.

How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb? One. Two. And a-one two three four.

How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb? "Whoah, it's like dark!"

MISCELLANEOUS

How many sound guys does it take to change a light bulb? "Hey man, I just do sound."

How many producers does it take to change a light bulb? "I don't know, what do you think?"

How many bluegrass musicians does it take to change a light bulb? Five. One to change it, and four to bitch about it being electric.

LOCAL

How many members of The Manichean does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to hold the giraffe and the other to put the clocks in the bathtub.

How many executives at The Box does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, but we'll have to wait until he's done screwing Trae first.

How many members of Asmodeus X does it take to change a light bulb? None, they prefer the dark.

How many members of Skeleton Dick does it take to change a light bulb? One, but if it's Chris Vasquez he'll probably try to use a hammer to do it.

How many members of Tyagaraja does it take to change a light bulb? None, they all exude light from every orifice.

Newsletters

All-access pass to the top stories, events and offers around town.

  • Top Stories
    Send:

Newsletters

All-access pass to top stories, events and offers around town.

Sign Up >

No Thanks!

Remind Me Later >