I Can't Accept My White Siblings. Help!
Welcome to Ask Willie D, Rocks Off's advice column where the Geto Boys MC answers reader questions about matters, in his own words, "funny, serious or unpredictable." Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!
Photo by Mario Jaramillo
I DON'T KNOW HOW TO ACCEPT MY WHITE SIBLINGS
Dear Willie D:
I'm 35 years old, and was raised by excellent parents -- the best a child could ever have -- which includes a strong backbone of family members coming from both sides. About three weeks ago I came into contact with my biological mother and found out I have a sister and three brothers living out in California. To put the icing on the cake, they're white!
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What's a ghetto boy supposed to do now?
There has to be a mistake in the bloodline responsible for this grave injustice. I will contact the forensics team and get right on it! Alternatively, you could act like any decent human being and contact your siblings or have your mother do so to plan a day or weekend to meet, hang out and get to know them. It's possible that they may feel the same way about you as you feel about them. Regression is the debt we pay for being ignorant.
Have dinner with them; play a board game or watch a movie together; talk to them; enlighten them and allow them to enlighten you. They may not change your opinion of them, but at least you'll be educated.
MY MOTHER WANTS ME TO STAY IN A BAD RELATIONSHIP
Dear Willie D:
I'm 22 years old and my mother is forcing me to stay in a relationship with a man who is verbally and physically abusive to me. She always tells me to stay with my husband because he is the father of my children and he takes care of us. Her favorite saying is, "I don't want you making the same mistake I made." She is twice divorced, and has been abused. I have two children, a boy and a girl. Their father is kind to them, but treats me like crap.
I know you will probably say that I'm a grown woman so my mother cannot tell me what to do, but my mother is very controlling. She babysits the kids and is always visiting. Whenever I tell her that it's my life, not hers, she will make me feel guilty by not visiting the kids or babysitting. Other than my mother I don't have any other family where I live, and she refuses to let me live with her.
My husband will not allow me to work so I have no other way to support myself and my kids. I need a way out. Please help!
Treated Like Crap:
What a disheartening story. Your mother suffers from Battered Woman Syndrome. She doesn't know any better. Would she rather have a divorced daughter or a murdered daughter? Do not listen to her. Get out while you can and take your kids with you. Get a restraining order. Reach out to a women's shelter in your area for abused and battered women of domestic violence.
You can call 411 for directory assistance, or do a quick Internet search. They have a myriad of resources to help you get on your feet; including a crisis hotline, food, shelter, clothing, legal services, job training, transportation, and child care. When you go there you don't have to give them your real name, even if they ask. Since you've never been on your own the first step may be daunting. But as the French proverb goes: the first step binds one to the second.
More Ask Willie D on the next page.
My ex-boyfriend from way back in 1985 contacted me on Facebook. He claimed he only wanted to find out how life has been treating me. Just curious: what do you think his intentions are?
Since you haven't been in a relationship with your ex in almost 30 years, you really don't have anything to lose by responding to his messages as long as you set boundaries. Ask him straight up what his intentions are. Maybe he is just checking up on an old flame. Assuming you are available and he wants to rekindle the relationship, you should be very careful about skating across thin ice. Remember, there's a reason you broke up.
I STOLE FROM WALMART
Dear Willie D:
I stole a flat-screen TV from Walmart. Well, technically, I didn't really steal it because it was underneath my basket and the clerk forgot to ring it up. I was prepared to pay for it, but $400 is a huge savings. I think the lady in line behind me knew what was going on, because she smiled and looked away.
Because Walmart has cameras everywhere I keep thinking the police are going to come to my house to take me to jail for theft. Do you think I should keep the TV, or give it back?
The TV is causing you too much angst. You should return it immediately before the Walmart specialized senior SWAT team comes to your house and makes a citizen's arrest. First it's a flat-screen TV, next thing you know you're posted up on the corner of 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. selling weed to foreign tourists.
Get in your car right now and take the TV back before it's too late. You ain't 'bout that life.
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Ask Willie D anything at askwillied.com, and come back next Thursday for more of his best answers.
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