Dear Willie D:
I caught my ten-year-old daughter having sex in her room with a minor boy a few years older than her. I won’t go into details because I don’t want anyone matching stories and embarrassing my family any more than we are already.
I want to call the cops, but I don’t want to get myself in trouble for being negligent. Where I live, the cops will put you in jail for dropping cigarette ashes on the ground. How should I handle this?
Hmmm, a minor boy a few years older than her? That means that the boy is also a minor. I don’t believe going to the cops is going to help anything. This sounds like an in-house issue that needs to be handled by both sets of parents, individually and collectively.
Try investigating the situation and find out exactly what happened before you blow the whole thing out of proportion. When kids are that age, they often experiment. Oftentimes they’re just fooling around, and there isn’t any penetration. Talk to your daughter about her actions, and make her understand the consequences of having sex at a young age.
No need to try to ruin the little boy’s life, or embarrass your daughter any more than she is already.
ALL OF MY FRIENDS HAVE TURNED ON ME
Dear Willie D:
I graduated from college this past spring, and moved back home to Dallas. I own a condo and drive a nice car. Whenever I go back to the old neighborhood to visit, my friends act funny toward me, like they don’t want me around. Sometimes if they’re standing out in the street, they will even walk away when they see me pulling up in my car.
I thought my friends would be proud of me for making something of myself, but I guess not. It’s like they’re jealous of my success. How do I let my friends know that I’m the same friend who they grew up with, and nothing’s changed?
Something has changed. You educated yourself, got a career and grew the hell up. Some people are so mentally stuck they can’t even have a make-believe moment where they see themselves living life beyond where they were raised and what they know. If a member from their community dares to seek an alternative life, he will almost certainly be an outcast because they view it as being left behind.
Being in the company of people who are comfortable, content and unchallenged for too long is dangerous to personal growth. Be proud of your accomplishments. You don’t have to change anything but your friends.
WHY ARE WE ALLOWING COONS TO REPRESENT US?
Dear Willie D:
Why do we in the black community continue to allow these coons to represent us? Could we, the black community, boycott these coons from making money off of us?
The Black Community:
The black community certainly can boycott coons. But I’ll take it a step further and say boycott the networks and companies that stroke checks to the coons to say disparaging things about the black community.
Now the thing about coons is that they come in all colors, but the only color that matters to them is green, as in money. Stop the money, and you take away the incentive to coon. We don’t often agree, but I think all coons and coon lovers will back me up on this — of course, not publicly.
MY FRIEND WITH BENEFITS WANTS TO CHANGE THE RULES
Dear Willie D:
I’m a 36-year-old bachelor who has been casually dating the same woman for close to a year. We hang out, have sex, etc. I told her when we first met that I wasn’t ready for commitment, and she said neither was she. Fast-forward, now she’s telling me she’s in love with me and she wants to get married and have my kids.
I love her but I’m not in love with her. It’s not that I’m incapable of being in love (my previous relationship lasted five years). It’s just that I don’t want to be responsible for another human being. This is not the first time this has happened to me. Why do women like to play the game and change the rules?
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Playing the Game:
Because they’re women, and they want what they want when they want it. What happened is, you exercised the agreed-on label in the relationship (friends with benefits), and she went with the activities (hanging out, sex, etc.). The label gave her a sense of safety until she figured out what she wanted. Once she figured out she wanted you, she expected you to be there to reciprocate her feelings.
Oh, what a tangled web we weave.
Ask Willie D anything at willied.com/ask-willie-d, and come back next Thursday for more of his best answers.