I Caught My Sister's Man Cheating. Help!
Photo by Jeff Fitlow
I CAUGHT MY SISTER’S BOYFRIEND CHEATING. SHOULD I TELL HER?
Dear Willie D:
So I’m bypassing the drive-through at a fast-food restaurant with one of my coworkers, and lo and behold, who do I see? My sister’s boyfriend at the window with another girl in the passenger seat. I told my coworker to drive around and park in the parking lot a few yards away so I could see what they were doing.
After they got their food, they drove across the street to a shopping-mall parking lot, and parked. We followed them, watched them eat their food and bam! They started making out in the car. He is the last guy I would have suspected of cheating.
I used my phone to record them, so I have it on video. My question is, what should I do with this newfound information?
If you tell and they reconcile, you will be labeled a troublemaker. If you keep quiet and your sister discovers later that you knew, she will feel betrayed. A middle ground would be to tell the boyfriend to come clean on his own before you rat him out.
If my sister busted my significant other cheating I would want to know. However, before you tell what you saw, just be prepared to not be thanked for your great loyalty. Your sister may decide to stay in the relationship, as most women often do.
If that happens, don’t waste any energy trying to judge. Supporting family and friends also means supporting their relationship choices – good, bad, or indifferent.
MY MAN IS A PAWNSHOP JUNKIE
Dear Willie D:
I was getting ready to go out with my husband to a friend’s party, and was searching my jewelry box for my favorite earrings. After looking everywhere and asking my husband if he had seen them, and being told no, I finally gave up, picked out another pair and left.
After we left the party, jokingly, I asked him did he pawn my earrings. To my surprise, he confessed to pawning them to pay our cell-phone bills. Besides selling my earrings he has pawned our video recorder, my son’s mobile phone, power tools, a guitar, a riding lawnmower, and other jewelry.
He got the riding lawnmower back because that’s part of his business, but everything else was forfeited due to non-payment. I asked him for the pawn ticket to get my earrings back, but he won’t give it to me. What can I do to make sure I don’t lose my prized earrings to the pawnshop?
The pawnshop receipt states the amount of money owed to reclaim your property. If you can get your hands on the receipt and the money owed, you could go to the pawnshop and get your money back. Just wait until he goes to sleep to search his pockets and wallet for the receipt. If it’s not there, search his car and receipt drawer. If you still can’t find it, it doesn’t exist. But a side chick with a new set of earrings does.
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PEOPLE USE ME TO GET AHEAD, THEN LEAVE ME BEHIND
Dear Willie D:
Over the last 12 years I have helped countless people start businesses and get ahead. Once they achieve success I always get left behind. My problem is that I’m too trusting. I give people the benefit of the doubt, and expect them to treat me like I treat them.
Why are people so quick to discard those who help them once they get ahead, and what can I do to make sure this doesn’t happen to me again?
Generally speaking, most of the people who come into our lives will be takers, not givers. The reason they are so quick to turn their backs on others after being given assistance is because they don’t have a loyal bone in their sorry body.
A couple of ways to insure that you don’t get left behind by folks you help become successful is to stop doing business with people or die. A more practical solution would be to sign this little thingy called a contract with a detailed exit strategy. That way if the partnership dissolves, whatever compensation you have coming will be clearly stated.
Although you’ve been trampled on by people you’ve trusted, all is not lost. Success is often a result of learning from failed experiences.
GIRL WITH THE POTBELLY
Dear Willie D:
I have had to battle with my potbelly since I was in first grade. When I was younger my grandad, and other family members used to tell me how cute I was with my stomach “poking out.” That may have been cute when I was a kid, but now I’m a grown woman, and it’s annoying as hell.
I feel like when people are talking to me they’re looking at my stomach instead of my face. I’ve tried all types of exercises and diets that causes me to lose weight everywhere, but in my midsection. I finally just gave up, but I still have a hard time accepting my predicament.
Do you have any ideas on how I can cope with this issue?
Since you said you’ve tried dieting and exercising, I’m going to go out on a limb and assume you’re not dieting and exercising the right way. When you eat clean and exercise correctly over a long period of time, you will not only see a change in your body, you will feel it. The way to get rid of the belly fat when you exercise is to do crushes and plenty of cardio. Don’t just walk and jog.
Five to six sets of 30-second high intensity sprints burn more fat than one hour of jogging at a steady pace. But none of that matters if you don’t eat clean, i.e.: baked chicken and fish, vegetables, fruits, nuts, and a reduced sugar and salt intake. Or even better, go vegan. Make working out and eating healthy a part of your lifestyle. That way if you fall off the wagon, dusting yourself off, and climbing back on will be second nature.
Ask Willie D anything at askwillied.com, and come back next Thursday for more of his best answers.
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