I Found Condoms in My Man's Car. Help!
Photo by Jeff Fitlow
MY SISTER’S SON HAS BEHAVIORAL ISSUES, NOT AUTISM
Dear Willie D:
I’ve decided to stop talking to my sister about her autistic son. Every day, all day, all she talks about is the adventures of her son. I’ll call him Michael. Michael goes to a normal school, has normal friends and participates in school activities.
When he has his little behavioral episodes, my sister coddles him and makes excuses for him. But Michael is well-adjusted until he can’t have his way. That’s when he hits and uses profanity. Personally, I don’t think he has autism. The only medicine he needs is a few good whacks across his backside.
I refuse to believe most of the kids who have been diagnosed with autism actually have it. It’s a big money grab by the system and greedy parents. No, I don’t have an autistic child, but I don’t need one to call BS.
Most of the parents with autistic kids don’t even get second and third opinions. They simply accept the diagnosis and start medicating their kids. I guess I’m starting to ramble. Thank you for reading my letter and allowing me to vent.
Don’t do that. I’m sure that there are some cases where misdiagnoses have taken place, but until you have a child with autism and have walked in the shoes of a parent with autism, you shouldn’t speak on it with absoluteness.
MY DAUGHTER’S BOYFRIEND IS GHETTO
Dear Willie D:
I’m not a rich man, but I have tried to provide a good life for my 16-year-old daughter. Her mother and I divorced. Her being a female, we thought it would be best if she lived with her mother. But I see her every chance I get, and spend everything I have on making sure she has the best.
She dresses nice, has an iPhone, plays on the volleyball team and goes on at least two school trips a year. She is also smart and polite. That’s why I couldn’t understand why she introduced some little ghetto boy, no pun intended, to me as her boyfriend when I picked her up from school. Curious to get to know him, I invited him out to dinner with us.
At dinner he answered me "yeah" and "no" — not "yes sir" and "no sir." He also used his fingers to scoop his rice onto his fork. I made up my mind at that moment that he has to go. So how do I get rid of him without my daughter being mad at me? She likes the guy a lot.
Father Good Life:
I really don’t know of any “legal” way to get rid of the boy. You may have to let the relationship run its course. You can let the kid know you don’t like him by treating him bad, but if you push too hard, you might alienate your daughter and push her closer to him.
Your best bet is to be neutral and give your daughter space so she can learn on her own how to be in a romantic relationship. It will help her make better decisions in relationships down the road. If she marries a ghetto boy, just hope the DJ don’t spin “Gangsta of Love” for the bride-and-father dance.
MY GIRL HAS DADDY ISSUES
Dear Willie D:
My girl is great, but she has daddy issues. She doesn’t trust men because her daddy wasn’t present in her life. I have never cheated on her, but she treats me as if I did. She don’t trust me with friends, and she hates my job because I work at a hair salon with all women (I’m the only barber).
What can I say to her to make her chill out?
Your girl’s inability to trust has more to do with her insecurities than your actions. Just reiterate to her how much you love her, and let her know you wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize your union. Trust is more about doing than saying. So keep doing what you’re doing.
I FOUND CONDOMS IN MY MAN’S CAR
Dear Willie D:
My boyfriend of six years and I got into a big fight last night because I found four wrapped condoms in his car. I am on the pill, so we don’t use condoms. He told me that he didn’t know how they got in his car, and blamed it on his friend. But conveniently, when I asked him to call his friend, his friend wouldn’t answer. Should I end an otherwise good thing over this?
Ask yourself, do you have a reason — other than discovering the condoms — to believe your boyfriend is cheating? If you still want to talk to his friend, wait to hear what he has to say before passing judgment and deciding what to do. It’s possible he could be cheating on you, but it’s also possible there could be a reasonable explanation for the condoms being in his car.
If your boyfriend has earned the benefit of doubt in the fidelity department up to this point in the relationship, give it to him. Otherwise, burning “rubber” may not be a bad idea.
Ask Willie D anything at askwillied.com, and come back next Thursday for more of his best answers.
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