Welcome to Ask Willie D, Rocks Off's advice column where the Geto Boys MC answers reader questions about matters, in his own words, "funny, serious or unpredictable." Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!
SHOULD I TESTIFY AGAINST MY FRIEND'S EX-BOYFRIEND?
Dear Willie D:
I've been getting to know this woman, but haven't crossed the line intimately. I was over at her place and her child's father (they aren't together) came over and started some mess. She and I stood up for each other and he left only to call the cops. I ended up being told that I have a court date in which I was a circumstantial witness to a domestic dispute.
I was told by her lawyer to take the stand against this guy on behalf of this woman and all domestically abused women. I understand that it happens the other way around too. But now I'm in a situation where my life is at risk in the coming years for a woman who isn't even 100 percent sure about her commitment to me.
If I testify against him people will say, "Oh, he's a snitch." If I don't testify on my friend's behalf she'll never forgive me for not standing up for her. That'll eat me alive from within. What a tangled web we weave. What should I do?
Tangled Web:
Understandably, the prospect of testifying in court can be intimidating, even if you're testifying on your own behalf. The thread in your letter appears to be fear. You fear people calling you a snitch and your friend's ex coming after you for revenge if you take the stand. People will always find something negative to say about you, so what they think shouldn't matter.
But the threat of someone seeking revenge in retaliation for you testifying against them is real because after you get off that stand the judge, the prosecutor and court officers are not going to follow you home to make sure you're safe. Notwithstanding fear, this is a case where you have to do what you think is right. As a general rule, when faced with a pressing dilemma I usually do what makes me sleep good at night.
MY BOYFRIEND IS TOO CONTROLLING
Dear Willie D:
I think I might be in a relationship with a possessive man. He tells me what to wear, who to be friends with, where to hang out and how to act in public. When he calls me and I don't answer the phone, he calls back continuously until I pick up. Then when I answer the phone, he wants to know why I took so long to answer and who is around me.
He once drove to my house unannounced and flipped out when he saw me talking outside in my parents' front yard to a male neighbor I have known since we both were in kindergarten. He made me get into the car with him and when we got around the corner, he choked me and called me all types of demeaning names.
I love him, but I live in fear of him. I know this is not healthy for a relationship, but I don't know what to do. I want to help him, but I don't know how. He has told me if I leave him he will kill himself. My parents think he is the nicest guy in the world. I'm embarrassed to tell them he hits me. What do you think I should do?
Living In Fear:
Please don't ever fix your mouth or fingers to say you love a man who controls you and knocks you around. Expose him. Tell your parents what's going on, break up with him, and get a restraining order. If he's any kind of man, when you leave him he'll keep his word and kill himself.
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