I Got Invited to a Friend's Divorce Party. Help!
Welcome to Ask Willie D, Rocks Off's advice column where the Geto Boys MC answers reader questions about matters, in his own words, "funny, serious or unpredictable." Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!
Photo by Mario Jaramillo
I CONFESSED MY LOVE FOR A FRIEND AND SHE REJECTED ME
Dear Willie D:
I'm feeling a little depressed since confessing my love for a friend who shot me down. This is someone I have known for two years, and I never let her know my true feelings because I was afraid she would do exactly what she did -- turn me down. We used to be able to tell each other everything. I still feel the same way, but I can tell she hesitates to tell me about stuff now.
I have been trying to come up with a way to get our platonic relationship back on track since romance figures to be out of the question. I still secretly desire a romantic relationship with her, but as I said that's out of the question. What can I say or do to regain her trust?
You're still talking on the phone with your friend so you've already reentered the friend zone. Don't try to rush it. Just keep doing what you're doing as far as being a friend and the bond will slowly regain strength.
Listen, support, encourage, and be there for her when she needs you. But don't wait on her. Move on with your life, date, and enjoy life. Like breakfast diners and massage parlors, as long as you walk in wearing a shirt and shoes, the friend zone is always open.
PEOPLE SHOULDN'T BE ABLE TO CHANGE DIAPERS IN PUBLIC
Dear Willie D:
I used to think breastfeeding in public was one of the worst things I've seen a woman do, but recently I saw a woman at the movie theater change her baby's diaper, and it wasn't just a quick switch-out from the baby wetting herself. It was poop, and it stunk up half the theater.
We were at a movie theater, so there were certainly alternative areas that the mother could have used to change the kid. I don't know if she was just lazy, had no dignity, were void of respect for others, or all of the above. What makes people think they can invade other people's space like that?
Breast-feeding and changing diapers in public requires a little parental ingenuity. In my mind there's some latitude when it comes to breast-feeding, but changing your child's diaper on a restaurant table, in an airplane seat, or openly in other public establishments; especially after they've taken a dump, is disgusting and disrespectful.
I was at the passport office a few weeks ago and smelled a stench in the air causing me to seek out the direction of the odor. I looked around and saw a lady sitting a few seats over from me playfully lifting her doo-doo baby up and down like she didn't know his diaper needed changing. If I had a stun gun I would have zapped her a few times.
I've been there before, so I'm sympathetic to the challenge of changing diapers on the go. But we don't need a law to tell us that changing a child's diaper on the table at a restaurant is wrong. Decency and courtesy towards others should be a component of common sense.
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Dear Willie D:
The president and the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) officials keep telling us they have everything under control, but more people continue to die from Ebola. They say they are taking every precaution available to prevent the spread of infection, but almost every day we hear about someone else in the medical field who cared for an Ebola patient getting infected.
If the people who are trained to use precautions when caring for the sickly can't protect themselves, what hope is there for the rest of us? I read one of your posts on Twitter where you questioned if the disease was human because it seemed to discriminate against who it wanted to kill.
I like how you think, and generally agree with your overview on life. But if you're suggesting that America is capable of such a heinous act, you're way off on this one. Are you implying that there's a governmental conspiracy to spread Ebola to the people of Africa?
As great as America is, there has always been government employees in America who have proven themselves more than worthy of heinous acts. So let's not be naïve about what our government is capable of. I don't know what to think. All I know is that the people dying from the disease seem to be African, and all the people being cured are American.
Either the vaccine don't work on Africans, Americans never had it in the first place, or somebody's playing a depopulation game of war by using Ebola as a bioweapon. Sounds crazy, huh? Yeah, that's what I thought about the Tuskegee Experiment and the time when the U.S. Army went to poor black St. Louis neighborhoods in the 1950s and filled the air with hundreds of pounds of powdered zinc cadmium sulfide to test the effectiveness of the chemicals on its residents.
That's not an implication. As my buddy from Hilton Furniture would say, "That's a fact, Jack!"
IS IT APPROPRIATE TO HAVE A DIVORCE PARTY?
Dear Willie D:
I was recently invited to a divorce party by a longtime friend, who after ten years of marriage is again living the single life. I have heard about people having divorce parties, but to receive an invite from someone I know caught me off guard.
My friend's husband is still friends with my husband, so it would be really awkward if I accepted her invite and went. At the same time I don't want my friend to think I'm picking sides. What should I do?
Most divorce parties are symbolic of honoring an individual's newfound freedom. I understand that things happen in marriages and there can be a lot of pain involved in a toxic relationship, but throwing a party to celebrate the end of something that is supposed to be as sacred as marriage seems cynical and over the top to me. But then again, nothing is sacred these days.
You should do whatever makes you sleep good at night. Personally I think divorce parties are a terrible idea. The concept is sad, and it's tacky!
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