I Got Scolded for Spanking My Kid in Public. Help!
Welcome to Ask Willie D, Rocks Off's advice column where the Geto Boys MC answers reader questions about matters, in his own words, "funny, serious or unpredictable." Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!
Photo by Mario Jaramillo
HE HAS AMBITION BUT NO MONEY
Dear Willie D:
I have been talking on the phone with a man who as far as I can tell is a nice guy with impressive goals and drive, but he is broke. I'm 40 years old with a good career, a home, money in the bank, a new car and a hefty 401K. He's 37, works at a mall department store and drives an early-model Nissan. How am I supposed to make this work?
The tone of your letter leads me to believe that you should quit while you're ahead. You said the guy seems nice and has goals. But everything after that was about money and material things, which in his case is well below your standards. Even if you were to give the relationship a go, you appear to be the type of woman who would badger the guy for not being accomplished and be ashamed to bring him around your friends.
Everything about this letter tells me that you want to date up financially, and I think you should considering the type of partner you're interested in. Just keep in mind: Nice guys don't finish last; the women who overlook them do.
I WANT TO BECOME A POLICE OFFICER
Dear Willie D:
In recent years law enforcement has been under fire for having somewhat of a tyrannical mentality toward American citizens. Being aware of the public discourse against policemen, I think it's the perfect time for me to join the force and bring back honor to the badge. I can't do it alone, but change starts with one.
I want to fulfill my dream of becoming a policeman, but my mother is afraid that with so much hatred toward cops today, I could be murdered by someone out for revenge against cops. I have told her the chances of something like that happening are highly unlikely.
But she is still very much against it. The problem is my brother was killed on military duty in Iraq, so I'm her only remaining son. I don't want to disappoint her, but I'm 27, and it's time for me to pursue my dream. What do you think about my situation, and what would you do if the choice was yours?
It's noble of you to consider your mother's feelings as you consider your career path, but your mother doesn't own your dreams; you do. If the choice was mine, I would march in the direction of my goal of becoming a police officer.
Lately it seems that police officers are only here to serve and protect each other. I would feel a little safer knowing someone like you will be on the job.
More Ask Willie D on the next page.
SHOULD I CLEAN MY BOYFRIEND'S PLACE?
Dear Willie D: I'm 19 and live at home with my father, but I spend a lot of time at my boyfriend's house. If my boyfriend wasn't a Neanderthal he would be perfect. Lately whenever I visit him he tells me to clean up his house. When I don't do it he gets offended, and things become awkward for a few minutes. I don't think I should be cleaning his house for him. I don't even clean my own house. I think he's trying to take advantage of me because I'm young; he's 27. What does cleaning his house have to do with love?
Dear Willie D:
I'm 19 and live at home with my father, but I spend a lot of time at my boyfriend's house. If my boyfriend wasn't a Neanderthal he would be perfect. Lately whenever I visit him he tells me to clean up his house. When I don't do it he gets offended, and things become awkward for a few minutes.
I don't think I should be cleaning his house for him. I don't even clean my own house. I think he's trying to take advantage of me because I'm young; he's 27. What does cleaning his house have to do with love?
I like that you're standing up for yourself. You teach people how to treat you, and by telling your boyfriend out the gate that you're not going to clean up behind him you are teaching him to treat you like a girlfriend and not a maid.
Cleaning your boyfriend's house has absolutely nothing to do with love. But if you do it correctly, it could have a lot to do with making love.
I SPANKED MY SON AT THE MALL AND GOT CALLED OUT
Dear Willie D:
I recently visited the mall with my 4-year-old son. While walking past the food court, he asked me to buy him one of those giant pretzels they sell. When I told him he couldn't have any sweets before eating lunch he lost his freaking mind, and started screaming so I gave him a couple of smacks across the leg with an open hand to hush him up, which it did.
As I was straightening his clothes and chiding him I looked up to see a woman standing over me saying what I did was against the law, and that I could go to jail for child abuse. I told her to mind her own damn business and walked off. Who was right, me or her?
You were right and she was wrong. However, in the future get your son straight before you take him out in public. Let him know that if he acts up he won't get to do certain activities he enjoys, and he will not get any extras for a certain length of time. If he does act up, discipline him firmly and consistently. Discipline might include taking away privileges or spanking.
If you choose the latter, do it discreetly and find a restroom stall or do it in the car. This way you'll avoid people getting in your business, and you'll have his undivided attention when you follow up with the spanking and lesson-learned speech. It's funny how the same people who take exception to you spanking your child are the same ones who rant and complain when your child is acting a fool.
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