I Know My Mom Is Having an Affair. Help!
Welcome to Ask Willie D, Rocks Off's advice column where the Geto Boys MC answers reader questions about matters, in his own words, "funny, serious or unpredictable." Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!
Photo courtesy of Peter Beste
I KNOW MY MOM IS HAVING AN AFFAIR
Dear Willie D:
My mom wrecked her car and since then she has been alternating between riding to work with me, and a male coworker. The other night I took her to work and went in for a few minutes. When I returned to the parking garage, I realized that I didn't have money to pay for parking because I left my wallet at home. So I went back to ask my mom to pay for the ticket. When I reached her department I saw her coworker friend pop her on the butt and she just smiled.
I pretended not to see what happened, and just asked for the money and left. I hate that my mom spends so much time with that slimeball. He also plays poker with my dad, who is totally in the dark on all of this, in part because the guy is married. I know my mom is having an affair and I want to tell my dad, because they are making a good man look like a fool.
I've always thought the world of my mom, but now I'm ashamed of her because it's women like her who gives faithful women like myself a bad image. What do you think I should do?
Wanting to Tell:
Talk to your mom and tell her what you saw. Tell her how she hurt you, and ask for an explanation. It will be awkward and painful, but it will serve her notice that her actions are unacceptable.
While a pop on the butt is hardly evidence of an affair, it is an indication that something sexual could be going on, or at least the potential is there. I know you love your dad, but any confessions about your mother's inappropriate behavior with another man should come from her, not you.
Whether she decides to come clean or not really doesn't matter, because what's done in the dark will come to light.
A GIRL AT MY SCHOOL SAYS SHE WANTS TO FIGHT ME
Dear Willie D:
I'm a female who is a sophomore in high school. I go to a nice school, but there is this girl who has a vendetta against me because a friend of hers told her I said I don't like her, which was totally untrue. Yesterday at school as I was walking in the hallway she walked up behind me, leaned into my ear, and started calling me names. Then she knocked my books out of my hands.
This has been going on for two weeks. She is doing everything she can to provoke me into fighting her. She is a very popular girl and I don't want to tell my parents or the school counselor for fear that it would only make things worse. She keeps telling everybody that she's going to beat me up. I feel as though eventually I will have to fight her, even though I don't want to. What should I do?
When someone is a bully, often it's because they don't like themselves so they mask their low self-esteem by pushing others around. You did the right thing by not fighting her. Often people who go around fighting and picking on others have nothing to lose, so they don't care if they go to jail, get kicked out of school, or get sliced across the face with a razor blade. Bring your parents and school administrators in on this. Like a rapist, if no one exposes her and she goes unpunished, what is the incentive for her to change her behavior?
Bullies don't just wake up and have a change of heart about pushing people around. They have to be confronted and dealt with.
More Willie D on the next page.
I'M A KLEPTOMANIAC
Dear Willie D: I'm 19 years old and I've been stealing things since I was five. I steal so much it's become a hobby. Most of the stuff I steal isn't even worth stealing. I just take it because it's there; like the time I stole a cigarette lighter out of my friend dad's truck as he was taking us to a party. When I visit friends, and relatives at their homes I always find something to steal. The biggest item I ever stole was a $1,800 bicycle. I stole it in plain sight of the store clerk. I think I get away with stealing mostly because I'm quiet and unassuming. I have a boy-next-door thing going on, and when I wear a polo shirt, or a button down it throws people off. I want to stop stealing, but I don't know how. What is your advice?
Dear Willie D:
I'm 19 years old and I've been stealing things since I was five. I steal so much it's become a hobby. Most of the stuff I steal isn't even worth stealing. I just take it because it's there; like the time I stole a cigarette lighter out of my friend dad's truck as he was taking us to a party. When I visit friends, and relatives at their homes I always find something to steal.
The biggest item I ever stole was a $1,800 bicycle. I stole it in plain sight of the store clerk. I think I get away with stealing mostly because I'm quiet and unassuming. I have a boy-next-door thing going on, and when I wear a polo shirt, or a button down it throws people off. I want to stop stealing, but I don't know how. What is your advice?
Stealing For Fun:
Try getting caught, and beaten within a half-inch of your life. After that, stealing will be the last thing on your mind.
TRYING NEW TRICKS IN BED ON MY BOYFRIEND
Dear Willie D:
I became a fan of your column after reading your one-year anniversary Valentine's Day edition and was hoping you could assist me with my little problem. Last night as I was making love with my boyfriend the most amazing feeling rushed through my body as I thought about your advice to "assume the position" that I saw in an erotic book. The position requires the woman to lie on her neck with each of her legs on her guy's shoulders as he stands over her thrusting into her in a squatting position.
I didn't go through with it because I was thinking that my boyfriend might freak out and think I was a slut or something. Our sex life is good, but I think it could be much better if we try new positions, and switched things up from time to time. How do you suggest I pull him in to get with the program?
I'm on your side. Sex, like life in general, is much more interesting and fun when you switch things up. You could take over and tease him by presenting to him the position you want to be taken in. Guys like it when a woman acts freaky.
But if you think he might freak out, talk to him about it first. A good time to bring it up would be right after making love. Men can't think straight after sex. The sense of peace and relaxation we get after ejaculation scrambles our brain cells, and causes us to agree to anything a woman asks of us. Put it on him good enough and you could get him to agree that the next time you make love he'll have Prince in your bedroom singing "Purple Rain" in a cloud of smoke.
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