I Live Well But I'm Not Happy. Help!
Welcome to Ask Willie D, Rocks Off's advice column where the Geto Boys MC answers reader questions about matters, in his own words, "funny, serious or unpredictable." Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!
Photo by Mario Jaramillo
I WANT TO LEARN HOW TO BE HAPPY
Dear Willie D:
I'm a computer analyst who makes over $80,000 a year. I like my job, but that's all it is; a job. I live in a nice house, and drive a nice car. I have a wife and 4-year-old daughter who I absolutely adore, but I'm not happy. I try to be happy and sometimes it works, but not for long. I may be happy for a day or two tops, and then I'm sad again. I don't know if I'm depressed or what.
I should be happy. After all, I have all of the things that society says should be a reflection of happiness. You're a successful man. Have you ever felt unhappy for long stretches of time? If so what did you do to cope?
It depends on what your definition of long stretches of time is. The longest stretch of unhappiness for me was when my mother died. I was depressed for months. However, typically a long stretch of unhappiness for me is five minutes. That's because rather than internalizing setbacks, disappointments, and conflict, I compartmentalize them so that I can focus effectively on business and personal relationships.
Oftentimes unhappiness is self-inflicted. It is a result of a person viewing the glass as half empty over half full. A person who is never content will never experience long stretches of happiness because they will spend more time feeling cursed for the things they don't have rather than feeling blessed for what they do have. I'm in constant pursuit of prosperity, but in the meantime knowing that I am blessed for the things I already have makes me happy.
AM I A WOMAN HATER?
Dear Willie D:
I'm sick of women complaining about men. They act as though they have played no role in the male/female relationship crisis that's taking place. They want men to cater to their every whim but they don't want to cater to us. Nothing is ever good enough for them. If you work too much, they cheat. If you don't have a job, that's another excuse for them cheating.
Now that they're earning their own money, many of them have started doing the same things men have traditionally done: hanging out late in the streets, smoking, drinking and sleeping around. But they say men are dogs. They want to be men so bad. They want to play football and box. The next thing you know they'll want to join the Boy Scouts.
All they do is whine about equality. Then when they hit a man and a man hits them back all of a sudden they want to revert to being a woman and get special treatment and protection because they're the "weaker" gender. Sorry to come at you venting. I'm just tired of the special treatment and male-bashing they've been getting away with for years.
Is it possible for me to enjoy the sexual pleasures of women while hating them?
Possible Woman Hater:
Since sex is a physical act, I would imagine it would be possible to enjoy the sexual pleasures of women while hating them at the same time. I think you are indeed a woman hater. This "hate the opposite sex, but use them for personal pleasure" applies to both women and men equally, and has no benefits other than division and perpetual misery. Good luck with that.
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Dear Willie D:
Today while at the grocery store I saw a white man with his black wife [or girlfriend] and mixed baby daughter. They were shopping like they didn't have a care in the world. Nobody said anything to them, but I could tell the other white people there besides me wanted to say something. Why can't everybody stick to their own kind?
How many traffic lights are in the Confederate-flag town you live in?
I'M A FEMINIST BUT DEGRADING SEX TURNS ME ON
Dear Willie D:
I'm a feminist in every sense of the word, but when I'm engaged in sexual intercourse I like to be dominated by a man. I want the man I'm with to pull my hair, spank me, choke me, bite my breasts and give it to me as hard as humanly possible.
I've heard people say I'm not really a feminist because a real feminist would never allow a man to dominate her in any manner. But I don't see it that way. I think of it as submitting for self-gratification.
The only power my male partner has is the temporary power I give him to serve my needs, and that can only last as long as our sexual encounter does. How do you see it?
The people who say that a real feminist wouldn't allow a man to dominate her in any manner, including sexually, don't know what they're talking about. Sex makes people do and say all sorts of freaky things in private that may be contrary to their public persona. It's a form of escapism.
You're a feminist, but more importantly you're a woman. No amount of feminism can prevent a confident woman who's interested in men from surrendering her mind and body to an equally confident man who knows how to make her feel so irresistible in her skin that she abandons her inhibitions, and seizes control to him - if only for a moment.
I think all men would agree: every woman should receive her fair share of pleasure.
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