I Took a Good Woman for Granted. Help!
Welcome to Ask Willie D, Rocks Off's advice column where the Geto Boys MC answers reader questions about matters, in his own words, "funny, serious or unpredictable." Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!
Photo by Mario Jaramillo
SHOULD BREASTFEEDING IN PUBLIC BE LEGAL?
Dear Willie D:
I walked inside of a McDonald's today and saw a woman breastfeeding her baby. What was particularly disturbing to me was that she had her whole breast exposed. I've heard about other stories of women breastfeeding in public, and business owners being sued for banning the practice.
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What is your opinion on breastfeeding in public? By the way. I'm a woman.
Disturbing the Feast:
I don't have a problem with it as long as it's done with class. Some women are discreet with breastfeeding, while some will just whip out their breast for the world to see. I think breastfeeding is a private and intimate act. Some people say breasts can be seen on television and in magazines so they don't see a problem with it.
That's a good point. However, having butt-naked sex can also be seen on television and in magazines. But is that something we're ready to see at McDonald's while kids are sitting around coloring, and eating Happy Meals? I don't think so.
BE HAPPY WITH A GOOD WOMAN
Dear Willie D:
I'm a 37-year-old former alpha male in the sense that I used to hunt for females at nightclubs, bars and other social places to use for my own benefit. Even when I met the girl that I would eventually marry, I couldn't let go of my appetite to dominate new women, and add them to my long list of conquests. I got married at 25, and was divorced by 30.
I thought I deserved any woman I wanted because when she met me she knew I was a dog, but she fell for me anyway. She was the classic good girl who fell for the bad boy and tried to change him. In the total eight years that we were together we fought a lot but never separated, so you can imagine the shock when I received divorce papers while at my company's annual picnic.
Willie I went to her mother's house and literally got on my knees to beg for her back, but she wasn't having it. She cut off all communications with me and shut me out. I took for granted that because she loved me so much she would never leave me, but it's been seven long miserable years since she left. Last year I heard she got married.
I'm not asking for advice. I'm just sharing my story hoping it might touch someone else out there; be it a man or a woman. If you got a good person in your life, don't risk losing a sure thing over maybes, possibilities and nothings.
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Dear Willie D:
I'm a 27-year-old man who has never been tested for HIV. The reason I haven't been tested is because I have lived a promiscuous lifestyle thus far, so I'm in that high-risk group of sexually active people who have unprotected sex. Every time I hear someone talking about getting tested I go mute, change the subject, or leave the room.
My wild days are behind me. I'm ready to calm down, get married and maybe even have children. Part of my maturity is my desire to overcome my fear and get tested. But how do I accomplish this when I am scared to death of what the results might be?
Scared to Death:
Like you, I was 27 when I took my first HIV test, and like you I was scared to death. But I had to get that monkey off my back. Whether you get tested or not won't change the fact that you're either HIV positive or HIV negative. The reason you want to know your status is because if you are HIV positive you need to start treatment immediately to give yourself a fighting chance to beat AIDS.
Additionally, you would want to notify your past sexual partners so they could get tested, and to make sure you take the necessary steps so that you don't infect others. I'm afraid of my car breaking down on a road trip. I could do nothing and live in denial hoping it don't happen, or I could get the engine checked out before starting my journey just to be safe.
The only way to overcome your fear of being tested is to get tested. Better safe than sorry.
I HAVEN'T SPOKEN TO MY FATHER IN 16 YEARS. SHOULD I CALL FOR HIS BIRTHDAY?
Dear Willie D:
I love my dad, but I hate his ways. He basically disowned me because I married a guy who is the son of his nemesis who was once his best friend. My dad and my father-in-law became bitter enemies because my father-in-law stole my mother-in-law from my dad when they were teenagers. It's all kind of childish, if you ask me.
My husband's father accepts me, but my dad has never gotten over the fact that I could love someone who shares the same DNA as my father-in-law. He doesn't want anything to do with me, my husband or my kids because as he put it, "they have his poison running through their veins." My sister and her kids still maintain a close relationship with my dad.
It makes me jealous at times because I want that same thing for myself and my kids. I just don't know if that will ever be possible. In a few weeks my dad's 80th birthday is coming up and I want to call him, but I'm afraid he'll curse me out, or hang up on me. Should I call, send him a card, or just live with the reality that my relationship with my dad is over for good?
When the time comes I hope I 'm acceptant of my daughter's choice in a husband, and I pray she learns from whatever mistakes she makes in life.
Give the old man a call. As stubborn as he is it's possible that he will be elated to hear from you. When you call him, don't mention anything about the feud with his old friend. He's 80 years old; he may not even remember.
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