Welcome to Ask Willie D, Rocks Off's advice column where the Geto Boys MC answers reader questions about matters, in his own words, "funny, serious or unpredictable." Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!
I'M A GUY THINKING ABOUT GETTING MY LIP PIERCED
Dear Willie D:
I have wanted to get my lip pierced for a while. I told my sister and she is against it, but a girlfriend of mine and my best friend said he thinks I should do it. I'm confused as the three people I just named are the closest people in my life, and they haven't given me a clear choice.
Being that I'm a guy, do you think people will look at me weird if I went through with it? I'm 19, if that helps.
Being that I'm a guy, doing something like putting a ring anywhere on my body besides my fingers never even crosses my mind. I don't know about people looking at you weird, but putting a ring in your lip is an excellent way to make men who like men think you're about that life. But hey, when I was in my early twenties I briefly had my hair fried, dyed, and laid to the side like Little Richard, so what do I know?
I TOLD MY FRIEND I WOULD HELP HER BUT I CAN'T
Dear Willie D:
I'm having a bit of an anxiety moment because I told my friend I would help her set up her online business. However, my schedule is so infused that I don't have time to take care of my own business. Between my kids, work and family activities I don't have time for anything. I'm usually a person who keeps my word, but I didn't really think the situation all the way through before agreeing to help.
This has been bothering me for days, but I don't know how to tell her I don't have time. I've already put her off twice, and she is starting to show signs of agitation. What makes it so bad is that it was my idea for her to build a website for her business so I feel somewhat responsible.
I was thinking about offering to help her find somebody else to build the site and giving her a couple of hundred dollars towards payment. What do you think about my unenviable predicament?
I like you. Where did you come from? You sound like a kind and generous friend who made the common mistake of overextending yourself. Call your friend and be straight up with her. Tell her that you bit off more than you could chew with volunteering to help her with her business. Let her know you don't have the time, but if she'd like you could recommend someone to build her Web site. If you don't personally know someone, a domain registrar and web-hosting Internet company, such as Godaddy, can help.
I don't think you should feel obligated to give your friend money because you haven't caused her any financial damages. In the future manage your time better, think before obligating yourself, and learn to say "no." When you have a busy schedule, proper time management can keep stress under the radar and make life more fulfilling. Now close your eyes and repeat after me: No...No...No...No...No...
More Ask Willie D on the next page.
I'M AFRAID OF GETTING OLD
Dear Willie D:
I'm a 35-year-old woman who is afraid of getting old and wrinkled. I look into the mirror every morning for signs of aging. People tell me I'm attractive all the time, and I have a lot of friends and guys wanting to date me. But I wonder will they still be as interested in me at 45.
My mother is attractive for her age; she is 54 years old. Just ten years ago she used to get hit on all the time by men. Now they don't even notice her. I don't want to be like that. I get depressed a lot whenever I think about aging. What do you suggest I do to cope with my thoughts of getting old?
You could die, but that's probably not the answer you're looking for. Aging is a natural process for all living organisms. Even inanimate objects deteriorate and stop working over a period of time. That's why it's necessary to replace car parts. You will never completely suppress your thoughts of aging as this is a natural process for humans. The best way to prolong your youthful look is to eat right, exercise, don't smoke, steer clear from alcohol and drugs, and not stress.
I think of aging all the time, but I don't worry about it, I embrace it because worrying causes stress, and stress kills. The next time you look in the mirror and begin to feel anxiety about aging, think of the dead and consider the alternative.
IS IT RUDE TO NOT BRING A DISH TO A DINNER INVITE?
Dear Willie D:
A not-so-good friend of mine invited my husband and me to a formal dinner at her house to celebrate her wedding anniversary. I was prepared to go until my husband asked me what dish I was going to take to her house. Honestly I hadn't even thought about it. I figured since it was such a major celebration that everything would be taken care of.
My "friend" is the type of person that will not say anything bad about you to your face, but the second you're out of hearing rage she will unload a bombardment of disparaging adjectives in your direction. I don't really care about people talking bad about me as long as I'm right.
So my question to you is, do you think it's proper etiquette for me to not bring a dish to a dinner invitation considering I wasn't asked to in the first place?
Some people consider it an insult when they invite you to their house for dinner, and you bring food. In their mind you don't appreciate what their food tastes like, or you think they may not have enough to accommodate you. For others who might invite you to break bread - like many of the people I grew up around - it's a serious faux pas to show up empty-handed.
Call your not-so-good friend, and get an understanding about whether she would like you to bring a dish. Learning by instinct seldom yields as many answers to our questions as asking does.
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Ask Willie D anything at askwillied.com, and come back next Thursday for more of his best answers.
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