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I Would Tweet 4 U: What If Prince Were On Twitter?

I Would Tweet 4 U: What If Prince Were On Twitter?
Photo illustration by John Seaborn Gray/ Click image to enlarge (trust us)

Sadly, Prince will not be releasing his next album online, despite being one of the first artists to release music exclusively on the Internet. He recently pronounced the Internet as "over," remarking, "All these computers and digital gadgets are no good. They just fill your head with numbers and that can't be good for you."

Aw, Prince, come on. Thanks to the internet, so far today Rocks Off has read an article about which nine days out of the year are the most statistically dangerous, cringed at a gallery of scary-looking Easter bunnies, listened to a heavy-metal remix of Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance" and come across three new memes. It's not even lunch time.

The Internet is far from dead, and Rocks Off feels it still has plenty to offer someone as business-savvy as Prince. His Purpleness would especially benefit from the massive information hellstorm that is Twitter. What would that be like, we wonder? Hmmm...

The internet is dead and I am one funky-ass pallbearer.

I had a Black Album 4 years b4 Metallica. And mine was way more evil.

@_M_I_A_ Think twice b4 u get all caught up in all that symbol shit, girl. Trust me on this.

Listening 2 a pirated copy o' "Thieves in the Temple" I found on YouTube. U don't see the irony here?

Trying 2 write some new shit, I think y'all will dig it. What rhymes with "chemtrails"?

My Clark Gable moustache-grooming reference picture is missing from my bathroom. Someone gonna get a 7" platform boot up his ass.

 

Browsing some old stuff from the Vault. Screen tests 4 proposed "Graffiti Bridge" sequel with Kevin Costner not as gripping as I remembered.

@The_Real_Appollonia It ain't happening. Stop asking.

Went out witnessing 2day. Love it! U may turn away most Jehovah's Witnesses, but what about 1 who can jam Raspberry Beret in ur living room?

Watchin this show "Animaniacs" with some o' my younger relatives. Warner Bros. ain't nothin like that, man.

@cmurphycomedy I'm up 4 a rematch anytime, anyplace, my friend. U still like pancakes?

Sending the URLs o' people posting my videos online 2 my lawyer. Why u wanna treat me so bad?

Gotta change some o' my lyrics 4 my next tour. Darling Nikki: changing "masturbating" 2 "contemplating"; magazine now copy o' Watchtower.

Just purified myself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka. Not all it's cracked up 2 b

@ThatKevinSmith exaggerated a lot o' that story. 1st of all, I asked 4 a gazelle, not a giraffe. And it wasn't no later than 1am.

Writing songs 4 the next album. A free copy will b included with every grande soy latte at Starbucks.

New song "I Can't B Without U" was shaping up well until my manager convinced me 2 let will.i.am guest on it. Now it's going in2 the Vault.

@Bangles_Music Answer ur phones, girls. I ain't gonna sit on "Frenzied Friday" 4 very long b4 I start shopping it around.

You might b surprised 2 hear, but Boy George is 1 scary motherfucker in person. He carries like 12 switchblades. I don't miss the 80's.

Still got a bunch o' BBQ'ed tofu left over from my 4th o' July party if any o' y'all want some. (Yes I am allowed 2 celebrate the 4th.)


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