If Nickelback's Studio Walls Could Talk...
Late Wednesday night, Nickelback tweeted a picture of a dry-erase board in their studio, with the line "If these walls could talk..." alluding to the bedevilment that a party-hard platinum-selling Canadian rock band must get into while making new music.
The band is readying their newest album, Here And Now, for a November 21 release. We already heard lead single "When We Stand Together" at a thrift store, which is a testament to their power, we assume.
A few weeks ago we did actually concede that the band's version of ZZ Top's "Legs" they recorded for ZZ Top: A Tribute From Friends was easily the best song on that album, so maybe our hearts our warming to lead singer Chad Kroeger's mane of truck stop Jesus curls after all these years.
We did see them at Toyota Center a few years back, and, well...
Wanna hear a new Nickelback song called "Bottoms Up"? Of course you all do!
But, what if Nickelback's studio walls could talk? What would they say, or scream? Would they bleed bright red blood? What secrets and desires are held in that white board?
- "They make Affliction-brand condoms now!?"
- "Speed it up a couple of octaves? Is that even possible?"
- "Why is Jack White here and why is he strapping on a guitar?! Did you drug him?"
- "Yeah, more songs about fucking groupies is what we need boys. I liked "Figured You Out" as much as the next guy, but..."
- "With a guitar solo like that you guys will probably at least get a 7.7 on Pitchfork. No, I'm not being sarcastic. Not at all."
- "Have you never heard of relaxers and flat-irons? Oh, I see. I was just being cheeky."
- "No! Not in here! Jesus! There's a bathroom down the hall! You can even use that empty water bottle! Oh God! I'm going to smell like piss for two years!"
- "Who just microwaves sushi?! It's supposed to be served cold, unless it's some sort of roll with a heated topping. No! Don't throw it on me!"
- "So are you guys like, the Canadian Kings of Leon now?"
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