I'm Cheating On an Older Woman. Help!
Welcome to Ask Willie D, Rocks Off's advice column where the Geto Boys MC answers reader questions about matters, in his own words, "funny, serious or unpredictable." Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!
I'M UNFAITHFUL TO MY OLDER WOMAN
Dear Willie D:
I'm with a real good woman who is eight years older than I am. I can't seem to remain faithful. I meet other women and have sex with them regularly. I want to be a great man to her, but my conscience holds all of my wrongdoings.
I know your struggle. It doesn't matter how good your woman is. You cheat because when you hooked up with her you weren't ready for a monogamous relationship in the first place. I know you probably won't do it, but the honorable thing to do would be to dissolve the relationship, so that you can thwart any further damages that might be caused to you or your girl by your infidelity.
That way you can get out there like the dog you are, and have sex with as many women as you desire until your wiener falls off.
DOES THE ILLUMINATI REALLY EXIST?
Dear Willie D:
My boyfriend is sort of a crazy conspiracy theorist when it comes to almost anything. He believes that there is a small group of rich people plotting to take over the world, the moon landing was faked, and the legalization of weed is a plot by the government to aid pharmaceutical companies in suppressing weed to cure cancer.
Whenever I disagree with him he blurts out, "Do your own research." I have learned to agree to disagree, and love him in spite of his paranoia. Do you believe any of his claims are valid?
Agree to Disagree:
Your boyfriend watches too much television.
I CAN'T STAND MY BEST FRIEND'S GIRL
Dear Willie D:
Please help me understand how a woman can be so beautiful on the outside, but rotten to the core on the inside. My best friend since middle school is engaged to the most self-centered, insecure, narcissistic woman around. He is totally opposite, in that he is a generous and humble guy.
She doesn't trust him around me because she thinks I will influence him to cheat with other women. Today, we exchanged words, and I had to catch myself out of respect for my friend. Besides looks, I really can't understand what he sees in her. Nobody likes her. Why can't he see what everybody else sees?
Out of Respect:
Your friend is not going to leave his fiancé anytime soon. In fact as opposite as they are, there's a chance they may be together for a long time. If you want to continue your friendship you're going to have to learn to accept his wife for who she is, and all of her wickedness because if it comes down to you or her, he will choose her.
As in all relationships, effective communication is the key. So talk to the fiancé and apologize for your part in the argument. Then explain to her what type of guy you are, and what type of guy she is engaged to in term of integrity. Tell her regardless if you were in a relationship or not, you would never disrespect your friend's union with her by encouraging behavior that might cause him to cheat.
Now here's the big one. Let her know that you love her because your best friend loves her and because she makes him happy. Yeah, I know you and a few others are probably screaming at the newspaper, or whatever electronic device you're reading this on, but your friend's girl is insecure, and reassuring her that you are not a treat is the best way to have a cordial relationship with her.
If all else fails, keep your distance and be glad that your friend is the one marrying her, and not you.
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Dear Willie D:
My daughter is beautiful and everybody says so, but she doesn't see it. She can be so mean to herself at times it's mystifying. She thinks her nose is too big; she thinks her boobs are too small; she doesn't like her legs; and she think she's not as smart as many of the other kids in her school.
I started noticing she had self-esteem issues when she was five; she is 17 now. As soon as I realized it was serious, I started making a conscious effort to help her build skills not associated with appearance, and focused on her efforts instead of simply praising her. I don't know what else to do. She refuses to go to counseling.
How do I teach her to gain the confidence she needs to be the best person she can be?
It sounds to me like you're doing all the right things to help her with confidence, especially the fact that you're making the effort to help her build skills independent of her appearance, and focusing on her efforts. In the end, it's not beauty that's gives us the confidence that we need to feel good about ourselves; it's achievement. Beauty fades, but when you have a certain skill set, and can create something, that's what gives you lasting confidence.
Your daughter can have surgical procedures to change how she looks. She can buy all the makeup and designer clothes out there to resemble the models and celebrities in the magazines, and the whole world can tell her how beautiful she is, but until she sees the beauty in herself, she will always find another reason to feel ugly.
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