Welcome to Ask Willie D, Rocks Off's advice column where the Geto Boys MC answers reader questions about matters, in his own words, "funny, serious or unpredictable." Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!
WOULD I BE WRONG FOR DATING MY FRIEND'S SISTER?
Dear Willie D:
Eight years ago my family picked up and left Dallas to follow my military father to Japan for work. I left behind my best friend, and his wonderful family that included his pool-stick-shaped little sister. I hadn't seen her the whole time I was gone except for a few pictures on my friend's Facebook page.
We moved back to Dallas in July, and their family gave us a welcome-back party. When I saw my friend's little sister she was no longer little. She was a fully developed woman with a smoking body, and she was being extra nice to me. She brushed up against me in the kitchen as we both were getting seconds, and I swear she did it on purpose. The friction got my hormones to racing wildly.
I never looked at her as anything but a little sister up until that moment. She told me she's always had a crush on me. I'm 23, and she's 19, and neither of us is dating anyone. It's obvious we like each other, but I'm afraid if I pursue her it could jeopardize my friendship with her brother, whom I've known since kindergarten. But I want her. So how do I convert this flirtatious fantasy into a reality?
I wouldn't advise pursuing your best friend's little sister; especially with the intent of having casual sex. So if that is your goal, please don't go there. If she starts catching feelings, things could get ugly fast. On the other hand, if you really like her and you want a long-term loving relationship, maybe you should take a chance. But you better be sure that you are ready for true love and commitment. Otherwise you will ruin a good friendship.
Assuming that a serious relationship is what you're after, prior to letting your best friend know what's going on, the first thing to do would be to talk his sister to see if she feels the same way as you do. Before you spill the beans, though, be sure that you have branded yourself as a one-woman man so that you don't come off as a womanizer to your best friend.
Nothing says "please beat the breaks off me" like being a player and fooling around with your best friend's little sister.
MY 16-YEAR OLD DAUGHTER HAD SEX IN MY BEDROOM
Dear Willie D:
I came home to find my 16-year-old daughter having sex with her boyfriend in my bedroom. I can't begin to tell you how hurt I was. I was her age when I first had sex, but I had enough respect to not do it in my parents' house, let alone their bedroom. I grounded her for one month, and took her laptop and cell phone. Do you think I was too hard on her or not?
That's a reasonable amount of punishment if you think it'll help. But the question isn't whether you were too hard on her or not. The question is, did you give her a pack of condoms, and warn her about the dangers of having unprotected sex, and how f---ed up her life is going to be if she contracts a disease or becomes a teenage mother? Kids are not stupid. They know we had sex when we were their age.
Sex is a natural and pleasurable experience. That's why everyone wants it. Kids will have sex. When they do, it's better to have it at home than some seedy, drug-infested motel. Of course every parent wants their child to hold out for sex as long as they can. But when it comes to the sex talk, I think options are better than restrictions. Unless they're humping in my bedroom. That's where I draw the line.
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SHOULD I CHOOSE MY BOYFRIEND OR GRADES?
Dear Willie D:
I'm in my junior year of college and my time is limited to hitting the books, working a part-time job and dating my boyfriend, in that order. Of course my boyfriend feels left out, but I have to constantly explain to him that my primary goal is to get a degree, and to do that I have to maintain my job to help pay for tuition.
He's been getting mad at me a lot lately because I have been able to spend very little time with him due to my obligations. He is always trying to make me feel guilty by saying I put my job and school over him. What am I missing? When I try to explain to him that it's not a competition, it's priorities, he says my priorities are mixed up because school and work are temporary.
He knows I love him, but he's pressuring me to choose between him and my education. If I give him more time my grades will slip; if I don't he will break up with me. Help me figure this out.
Your boyfriend is childish and self-serving, which is proof that love does not conquer all. You were right to tell him he's not in competition with your school and work.
You appear to be a smart young lady so hopefully you'll take heed to the forthcoming warning. Something is seriously wrong with a man who tells a woman to choose between him, and her education. But if a woman chooses to stay in a relationship with a guy who can't respect obligations, discipline and priorities, something is wrong with you too.
I USE WOMEN PURELY FOR SEX
Dear Willie D:
I'm a single man with no kids. After surveying the relationship landscape and considering how much infidelity, and distrust is out there, I decided years ago that I would rather play the field than to be stuck on one particular base.
I don't trust women, but I do love their companionship. So instead of putting myself in a position to be taken advantage of or have my heart broken again, I choose to play the field. There is nothing sneaky about my motivations. I tell women up front that I'm not interested in commitment, and they can take it or leave it.
That may sound heartless to some, but my mantra is to disclose my intentions at the beginning; that way no one gets hurt. I've been reading your column for about a year and I'm taken aback at how often people in relationships don't get an understanding before things get serious. I don't care how pretty or successful she is. At this stage in my life all I want is sex.
I'm sure there are women fuming right now at the thought of you boldly admitting that you only want women for sex. But if what women say about wanting a man to be truthful with them is accurate, then there are at least a few who will appreciate your candidness.
Honesty is the best policy; unless of course she puts a pistol to your head and asks you, "Do you love me?"
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