I'm Hypnotized by My Ex's Booty. Help!
Welcome to Ask Willie D, Rocks Off's advice column where the Geto Boys MC answers reader questions about matters, in his own words, "funny, serious or unpredictable." Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!
Photo by Mario Jaramillo
Dear Willie D:
I very much enjoyed your segment on TV One's Unsung. You are an inspiration to the younger generation. Unsung covered most of your life, but covered very little of your educational achievements. Which high school did you attend, and what year did you graduate?
I attended Forest Brook in Houston, which was later consolidated with M.B. Smiley, and named North Forest High School. I got kicked out of the whole school district two months before graduation for fighting, and never went back.
I was supposed to graduate in '86. Every time I think about how close I came to the finish line and didn't cross it, I'm reminded of Fred's infamous running insult of his son Lamont in the television series Sanford & Son: You big dummy!
I DON'T KNOW IF I LOVE MY HUSBAND
Dear Willie D:
For the past couple of years I've been questioning my love for my husband. We've been married for six years, but we've been together for about ten years since high school; we are now 24 and 27. I cannot complain about life with our son who is now seven, and I'm glad we're not another teen pregnancy divorce statistic -- although we almost did get there.
We did about a year and a half ago end two years of trouble when I caught him talking to other women, but thankfully I believe we have overcome that. Although everything seems to be what a family and marriage should be, I cannot stop the thoughts of curiosity about other men, which started ever since I found him talking to other women.
We have what I think is an okay sex life, and I have tried "everything" in the book but seem to still find myself bored. Sadly I did start having intercourse at a very young age before my husband, and I can say I've had better (in size, not experience) than him. I don't know how to stop my curiosity in hopes of not cheating on my husband, and being at risk of ruining my family. How do I stop these thoughts, be happy with my husband sexually, and be in love with him?
Who you were at 14 is not who you are at 24. That is why experienced adults warn against young marriages. I'm sure both your and your husband's views and values have changed over the years. Get back to communicating, and doing fun things together. Start doing things to strengthen your bond such as dreaming together again, and find a hobby or project to do that requires the two of you to work together as a team.
Don't be afraid to seek professional help. A good counselor can help you reconnect, and rediscover all the reasons you fell in love in the first place. Be wary about jumping into a divorce. Divorce usually seems like an excellent idea; that is until your new boo ends up being worse than your old one.
More Ask Willie D on the next page.
HYPNOTIZED BY MY EX-GIRLFRIEND'S BOOTY
Dear Willie D: Every time I try to leave my ex alone, she talks me into meeting her. Whenever I see that big Jennifer Lopez booty I get sucked into a trance, and we end up having sex. How can I ever get her out of my life for good when all she has to do is put on something tight that accentuates her ass-sets?
Dear Willie D:
Every time I try to leave my ex alone, she talks me into meeting her. Whenever I see that big Jennifer Lopez booty I get sucked into a trance, and we end up having sex. How can I ever get her out of my life for good when all she has to do is put on something tight that accentuates her ass-sets?
There comes a time in every man's life when he has to start thinking with his big head. If you want to get over your bootylicious ex, either stop agreeing to meet her, or meet her under the condition that you will arrive blindfolded with black shades on, and a seeing-eye dog.
MY FRIEND LIES TO GET GIRLS AND APPEAR IMPORTANT
Dear Willie D:
I'm the wing-girl for my handsome guy friend who lies to pick up girls. He has a whole system in place. When we are out he purposely overlooks the most attractive girls in the bar and goes after the average ones because as he puts it, "Average women are more impressed with looks than beautiful women are."
It's always the same. We'll be sitting at the bar having drinks, and he'll spot a single girl who is alone, approach her, and buy her a drink. One of his more popular tales is when he explains to her that he is a talent scout, and I'm his assistant. It works because he is attractive, and always well dressed. He strokes her ego by asking her if she's ever modeled. In most cases they will say no.
That's when he goes in for the kill and asks her if she ever thought about modeling. It doesn't matter how she answers, because deep down inside all women want to show off their body, and he knows it. He will usually tell her to give him a call as he pretend to search his wallet for a business card. At which point the poor girl will end up putting her number in his phone.
I know his deceptive ways are wrong, but why do I find it entertaining, not offensive?
I don't know why you would find it entertaining and not offensive that a man practices deceiving women and playing on their insecurities to get laid. As a female, it seems like the appropriate womanly thing to do would be for you to stand in the other woman's shoes, and put your friend on notice that in no way do you treat a woman like that.
While you're at it, you could remind him that if he has to lie to sleep with women, what does that say about his character? Furthermore, if you are best friends with someone like that, what does it say about yours?
PREVIOUSLY ON ASK WILLIE D
Ask Willie D anything at askwillied.com, and come back next Thursday for more of his best answers.
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