I'm in Love With Myself. Help!
Welcome to Ask Willie D, Rocks Off's advice column where the Geto Boys MC answers reader questions about matters, in his own words, "funny, serious or unpredictable." Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!
Photo by Mario Jaramillo
SHOULD I CHARGE MY KIDS' GROWN FRIENDS TO LIVE WITH ME?
Dear Willie D:
I have two adult children [a son and daughter] who live with me along with their three friends. One of the friends has a 2-year-old daughter. I pay all the bills. I'm retired, so I would like to spend my leisure time at home, but since my house is always crowded and noisy I spend most of my days at my sister's house, running errands so I don't have to be subjected to the chaos.
I don't mind my kids living with me rent-free, but I think their friends should be helping out financially. When I told my daughter that her friends need to start paying bills if they're going to live with us, she said they don't have any money. But the reason they don't have any money is because they don't work and refuse to seek employment.
The first time my daughter brought up the rent issue her friend said they were like family, and that they shouldn't have to pay bills because she doesn't have to. I feel bad for asking them to pay rent, but I think they should help out, don't you?
Subjected to Chaos:
It's your house. Tell those bums to either help out, or step out.
HELP ME GET MY MONEY BACK FROM A GIRL I HAD SEX WITH
Dear Willie D:
I loaned a girl I slept with $1,500 over six months ago and she still hasn't paid me back. Initially she said she would pay me back in 30 days. I wrote her a check, but that's the only proof I have. She has two kids and no job. How should I go about getting her to pay up?
Loaning a female money who you have a sexual history with is risky business because women generally consider money and sex as fair exchange. A copy of the check with her signature endorsed on the back is all the proof you need as long as you wrote "loan" in the memo section -- if you failed to write "loan" on the check, she can say it was a gift.
You have up to five years from the date of the check to enforce collection of the loan and you will need all 60 months to do so, because you have a better chance of seeing Jesus at a Kanye West concert with a pitchfork wearing skinny jeans than you do at getting your money back.
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Dear Willie D:
I'm a 19-year old female and I love myself so much that I sometimes stand in front of the mirror and stare at myself while masturbating. I have a right to be conceited. My parents blessed me with so much beauty that people often walk up to me and ask am I famous. So how I feel about my looks are not exclusive to my own thoughts, but other people thoughts as well.
I can pretty much have any guy I want, but most guys aren't a challenge to me. I'm not gay, but gay females have come on to me. It's flattering, but I'm not into hunching and bumping; unless of course I could find a way to have sex with myself. You probably think I'm full of myself, but I'm just being honest. But I would never confess this to someone in real life.
I like being the way I am, but I know I will never have a meaning[ful] relationship being this way. How can I stop being a narcissist and still be in love with myself?
The first step to overcoming narcissism is self-awareness, so you're headed in the right direction. The way to love yourself without being self-centered is to learn to balance your needs with the needs of the people who you surrounded yourself with.
I hope you're not one of those people who are so obsessed with yourself that you call yourself from one phone, and answer on another. Loving yourself is a good thing, but to be in love with yourself -- that's just creepy.
I NEED HELP WITH DECIDING WHICH COLLEGE TO ATTEND
Dear Willie D:
I'm a 2015 high-school graduating senior with a small dilemma: I can't figure out what college I want to attend. I live in Boston. When we were freshmen, my best friend and I made a pact to attend New York University (NYU) together in New York City. She is still excited about attending NYU together, but I'm not sure if that's still what I want to do.
I have another friend who is planning on attending college at UCLA. After talking to her about the school and some of its courses, I'm seriously starting to consider applying. I like the idea that NYU is close to home and has an electrifying atmosphere. But UCLA is in the heart of Hollywood, and I like the possibly of bumping into celebrities at the grocery store, and living somewhere I've never been.
What do you think would be the best choice of the two?
Besides location and courses, most people choose the college they want to attend based on reasons that include: standards, activities, tradition and atmosphere. While New York City is electrifying, it is also loud, stinky [at night from trash pickup] and super-cold in winter months.
Hollywood is equally electrifying. Conversely, it has almost perfect weather year-round. But they don't call it Hollyweird for nothing. As Ice Cube once said, "It's the craziest place on the planet." It sounds like you're more interested in scenery than anything else. Since you've already done the New York thing, it'll probably be more fun to live somewhere new and exciting like Hollywood. One thing's for certain, you'll have plenty of weird stories to tell after college.
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