I'm Pregnant by My Older Stepbrother. Help!
Photo by Jeff Fitlow
I’M PREGNANT FOR MY OLDER STEPBROTHER
Dear Willie D:
I got pregnant five months ago [by] my older stepbrother, and I have to figure out a way to tell my dad the truth without him exploding. My stepbrother is my dad’s son from a previous relationship; he has been living with us for more than two years.
Abortion is not an option. We love each other and want to get married, but know this will hurt my dad deeply. How do we break the news?
Brother & Sisters:
Are you serious? That's your brother, not your stepbrother! My suggestion to you, if you two are intent on being together is to move far, far away because your dad is going to kill both of y'all when he finds out.
Also, since you and your brother share the same DNA with the same father, your inability to avoid temptation has put your child at a high risk for birth defects. Let’s hope for the best.
MY MAN WON’T ACCEPT MY SPECIAL-NEEDS CHILD
Dear Willie D:
I had to live with my aunt for two years because after I had my special-needs child, my husband moved out and I couldn’t afford the mortgage on our house. He finally asked me to come live with him under the condition that I leave my child to stay with my aunt.
I told him no way! I want us to be a family, but I don’t know how to make that a reality with him and my child co-existing. This is his flesh-and-blood daughter and he won’t go anywhere near her. What are your thoughts on my dilemma?
I’m sitting here thinking about your husband like, where the hell does that type of man come from? You are one brave soul for prioritizing your daughter. I can’t imagine your struggle. Now it’s time to face the reality that you may be raising her alone because he will never accept the idea of having a special-needs daughter.
I would suggest counseling. But after speaking to your husband, the counselor might need counseling.
I’M A LIBERAL LIVING IN A CONSERVATIVE HOME
Dear Willie D:
I don't want to offend anyone, but my parents are Republicans and I hate it. They are very judgmental when it comes to people who don’t share their views about life.
My father has said that he wished Obama was dead, which we got into a big fight about. No matter what your political views are, why would you wish harm to your own president? That doesn’t make any sense to me. Besides hating blacks, my dad hates Mexicans, Asians, Muslims, gays and white liberals.
My mom is scared of him. One time he choked me because I called him dumb. I’m a 19-year-old girl, and I don’t know who to talk to about this. What do you think I should do?
People who hate the world are too self-absorbed to consider the rights of others, or care about what people who don’t share their opinions think. So let it go. Live your life, and let your dad live his.
No matter how you feel about your dad’s social and political views, you should always maintain a level of respect for your father, even if he is dumb.
MY FRIEND WANTS ME TO SELL DRUGS FOR HIM
Dear Willie D:
I’m 20-year-old woman who doesn’t know what I ever saw in this guy I’ve been calling a friend for the past year. His mother is an alcoholic and a drug addict. Knowing this, you would think he would want to help her stop using, but instead he gives her more drugs.
He went to jail a few months back, and told me to look in a certain area of his house, and get his stash to sell it to some guy, and take the money to bail him out. Well, the guy took the drugs and never paid, and he accused me of stealing it when he got out of jail.
Because I felt responsible, I borrowed money from my sister and her husband to bail him out. Even though I borrowed money I didn’t have [in order] to bail him out, he said I still owed him $1,300 to make up the difference in what the guy took. Since I don’t have the money, he wants me to sell drugs for him. I’m horrified of going to jail, or worse. What should I do?
Normally I would say tell him to go to hell, or put your brothers or father on him. But you don’t appear to be the type who has goons on standby. So my suggestion is, if you feel responsible for the $1,300, try to get him to agree to a reasonable payment plan. If not, notify the authorities. They hate it when convicts recruit innocent young girls to do their dirty work.
Ask Willie D anything at willied.com/ask-willie-d, and come back next Thursday for more of his best answers.
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