One thing that always bothered Rocks Off growing up as a born-again Christian child who was into the apparently godless world of Star Wars was whether or not they celebrated Christmas. The birth of Jesus Christ and stuff. Santa Claus, crap that matters. We can only assume under Empire rule that such a holiday would be unheard of.
Since they were from a galaxy far, far away, did they have a holiday where you got new cleaning droids or tunics? Maybe a new lightsaber from the wife? Did they sit around a tree and bask in a hazy tryptophan-like glow from all the Bantha and Beldon meat they had?
"Christmas In the Stars"
Then we discovered the Star Wars Christmas Special, where they celebrated something called Life Day, which seems like some sort of Scientology business that doesn't have anything to do with a baby being born in a virgin's womb and dying on a cross.
Unless you consider Darth Vader a god and Luke Skywalker a Christ figure and substitute being beaten to death and crucified with getting your hand cut off.
"Happy Life Day"
We're talking about Jesus Christ, goddammit, not some space holiday for space apes and lizard people.
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SHOW ME HOW
This week we found a link to the Star Wars Christmas album, 1980's Christmas In the Stars, free to listen to online. It's a cornily decadent affair, with songs about buying Wookies presents, a pre-fame Bon Jovi singing a song with a kid's choir to R2-D2, and everything else is straight-up Santa Claus worship, as if he created the moon and stars and creates space and time.
Either way, it's a fun record to geek on for Star Wars fetishists and a good document of just how far George Lucas would go to take the money out of the hands of nerds of all shapes and ages.
We are surprised he didn't make a Star Wars diaphragm in the shape of the Millennium Falcon for nerds' bedroom needs.