I've Been Dating My Friend's Dad for Months. Help!
Photo by Jeff Fitlow
I’VE BEEN DATING MY FRIEND’S DAD FOR MONTHS
Dear Willie D:
Every time I visit my friend’s house, I have an uncontrollable urge to throw myself on her dad and let him have his way with me. I have been seeing him behind her back for over a year. Yes, he is married, but he doesn’t love her mother. He loves me.
I want so bad to come clean and let everybody know we are together, but I have to wait till the time is right. My other friend called me a homewrecker. But how can I wreck something that was already wrecked before I came into the picture?
You seem to be a little out of touch with how this type of thing typically turns out. So let me break it down to you. Your friend’s dad is not going to leave his wife for you.
I do agree with you in that the home was already wrecked before you came into the picture. Even so, just know that if you start off in a relationship being the other woman, you will never be the only woman. That I can guarantee.
MY GIRLFRIEND IS A DIFFERENT PERSON NOW THAT SHE HAS BECOME A FEMINIST
Dear Willie D:
My girlfriend looks up to her boss because her boss is a female CEO at a big company. She was the same sweet girl that I first met until she got promoted and started working directly with her feminist boss, who is of course single.
Now she comes home and doesn’t want to cook. She gets offended when I open doors for her, and she hasn’t mentioned getting married in months when that’s all she used to talk about. She has also become more passionate about women's issues, to the point that it seems that she’s taken on an us-against-them mentality.
Have I lost my girl to feminism?
Yeah man, as Hall & Oates famously said back in the day, she’s gone. But when you really love someone, before you dissolve the relationship, you should do everything in your power to salvage it. Talk to your girl and express your concerns. She’ll probably tell you to go to hell, which is something you could do without ever leaving home, being that you’re in a relationship with a person you don’t get along with.
I’M NOT COPING WITH LIFE & RESPONSIBILITIES WELL
Dear Willie D:
I have too much going on in my head. I am 36 years old, married and a mother of three wonderful children. Because I have so much going on with work and my responsibilities at home, I have no social life. Everybody wants what they want, when they want it, from me.
I feel so overwhelmed with my responsibilities that sometimes I wonder what it would be like to start all over. I endure guilt for feeling this way. How do I train my mind to think differently?
Too Much Going On:
Much of the anxiety you’re experiencing can be overcome by simply saying no. You’re the mother, and mothers have a natural instinct to care for everybody. That’s a good thing. But if you’re not taking care of yourself in the process, what’s the point? If you stress yourself out and get sick, who’s going to take care of you?
Most mothers with kids at home could easily free up at least an hour a day by cutting back on their kids’ extracurricular activities. Trim the activities time, and find your me time. Go to the mall, get your nails done, exercise or pick a time when the kids aren’t home or can be monitored by your husband, and sit in a chair in your room with a nice read, drinking your gourmet coffee or herbal tea, and relax for an hour or so.
I’m sure your husband and kids will care for you if you get sick, but why chance their nursing skills when you don’t have to?
I CAN’T SLEEP ALONE
Dear Willie D:
This might sound crazy, but I’m a 44-year-old man who dreads the possibility of sleeping alone. I was in a relationship for 18 years before divorcing my first wife. The whole time we were separated, I shared my bed with several different women. I had sex with maybe only three of them; the others were for companionship.
I have to have a woman in my bed to feel a sense of accomplishment. I don’t have to be around a woman during the day, but at night I have to have a female next to me. I’m a successful businessman, but closing the day out sleeping alone makes me feel like a loser. I was wondering if you or any of your male readers could relate to what I’m experiencing.
Personally, I can’t relate to what you’re going through. I’m more wary of being robbed, assaulted or murdered by a strange woman I let stay overnight in my house than I am of sleeping alone.
Ask Willie D anything at willied.com/ask-willie-d, and come back next Thursday for more of his best answers.
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