Don't get Craig's Hlist wrong, we think that Katy Perry is extremely attractive. In fact, if we think about her long enough, it makes us want to cry and punch a wall. She's a buxom, bubbly, raven-haired pop star who dresses like she's expensive grandma candy.
We even interviewed her last year, and she was a pleasure to talk to, almost as pretty on the phone as she is in her music videos and the three, maybe ten, gigs of pictures we have downloaded on a hard drive.
But her album, Teenage Dream, did not deserve an Album of the Year nomination in this year's new batch of Grammy nods. We've heard the album, which came infused with the scent of cotton candy, and it's not award material. Sure it's catchy and fun, but to be honest, her debut album, One of the Boys, was better.
The drums were bigger, her vocals were raspy and spunky, it was just more of a rock record. She was even on the Vans Warped Tour in 2008, the year it came out and fit right in. She was like a candy-coated Joan Jett, or at least Toni Basil.
The Grammy noms, which were announced Wednesday night, were surely stunning. The Black Keys got a multitude of nods, but somehow missed out on the best album nod for Brothers, which has been one of the most beloved and well-reviewed albums of the year.
We understand the Arcade Fire and Eminem nods; those were both great albums. Ladys Gaga and Antebellum can be contested, but Perry doesn't fit. That's just the cold, hard truth.
The Suburbs, Arcade Fire
Need You Now, Lady Antebellum
The Fame Monster, Lady Gaga
Teenage Dream, Katy Perry
Going by the Grammy rules, albums must have been released from Sept. 1, 2009 to Sept. 30, 2010 to be eligible for an award in February. So that leaves a pretty big pack to pick from.
Who deserved an album nod this year? CHL can suspend the bounds of our own reality and realize that Burzum, Surfer Blood and Murder By Death wouldn't make it in. We won't even get into how much we think Drake was robbed.
The Black Keys, Brothers
It was the album of the summer, you heard it everywhere. They opened for Kings of Leon, and next year they could headline their own arena tour.
The National, High Violet
Another beloved album from 2010 that got immense play. It wasn't just an indie phenomenon.
Gorillaz, Plastic Beach
It had De La Soul, Mick Jones and Paul Simonon, Lou Reed, Bobby Womack, Mos Def, Simon Tong, as collaborators and guests. Seriously. No love?
Beach House, Teen Dream
Agreed, this is a bit out of sorts for the Grammys, but people are watching this duo now.
Jamey Johnson, The Guitar Song
It's two discs of country from a fresh voice we haven't heard. It wasn't hokey or jokey. Sub in Johnson for Lady Antebellum.
Norah Jones, The Fall
You would have thought this would have been surefire Grammy bait.
Neil Young, Le Noise
It was Neil by himself with just a guitar and feedback, and one of his strongest albums in 20 years.
Jay-Z, The Blueprint 3
This was Jay doing some of his best work, at a time when we needed to hear a master at work. Watche Kanye gets snubbed next year too.
The Roots, How I Got Over
Arrgh, really? Katy Perry over this?
LCD Soundsystem, This Is Happening
Let these guys walk out of the building on a high note. They may not be back for a while.
Janelle Monae, The ArchAndroid (Suites II and III)
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Yeasayer, Odd Blood
Band Of Horses, Infinite Arms
Joanna Newsom, Have One On Me
Sufjan Stevens, The Age Of Adz