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Keep It Up: 5 Songs For Viagra

Keep It Up: 5 Songs For Viagra

It was on this day in 1998 that your email inbox was changed forever when the FDA OK-ed the use of Viagra for use in treating erectile dysfunction, the first pill in the United States approved to do so. The drug was originally researched as a treatment for angina, but doctors noticed that while it wasn't doing much for the heart, it sure was good at inducing raging boners. Fun fact: In rare cases, it also makes everything you see appear blue, and it's helpful for reducing jet lag in hamsters.

As Cave Johnson said, "Science isn't about why. It's about why not."

Since it was released, Viagra has been a raging, throbbing success, with annual sales climaxing at almost $2 billion dollars in 2008. To the consternation of many women, half of those sales were covered by health insurance while many oral contraceptives were not, despite the fact that birth control is used also used to treat medical conditions such as endometriosis. Viagra has also gone on to being a popular recreational drug, as should be apparent every time you check your spam folder.

For good or ill, Viagra has changed America forever, and as usual the music world took notice. Here's our playlist for boner pills.

Nu Virgos, "Stop Stop Stop": Outside of Russia and the Ukraine, VIA Gra is known as Nu Virgos. The original name is a play on words in Russian. VIA is an acronym meaning "vocal ensemble group" and "gra" means "game" or "play."

Nu Virgos did an English version of their biggest hit, 2002's "Stop Stop Stop," which was accompanied by a terrifically hot video where the girls seduce Sigmund Freud smoking a cigar. Considering that impotence is linked heavily to many psychological disorders, this seems strangely appropriate.

88 Keys feat. Kanye West, "Stay Up! Viagra": Of course, the usual stereotype for Viagra use is that of elderly men using the drug to regain the potency of their youth, and the sugar-daddy image is often tied to this.

To be fair, the commercials and ads don't do much to dispel this idea even though impotence can be caused by all kinds of things. Nonetheless, Viagra as the crutch for dirty old men remains a common perception, and 88 Keys and Kanye sum that up perfectly. Embedding is disabled on the video, but definitely check the link as it is hilarious.

 

Four Bitchin' Babes, "Viagra in the Water": Let's hear from the ladies. Here we have Four Bitchin' Babes telling us a little folk tale about a brave trucker who lost control and ended up dumping his load of Viagra into the Johnson City water supply. All over the town a massive wave of cockshafts brought economy to a standstill as men were turned into lust zombies. It's just a funny little tune about fucking. Nothing more. Enjoy.

Brokencyde, "Blame it on Tom": Better minds than ours have called Brokencyde a completely shit group, and that's our reason for putting them on here. One of the other side effects of Viagra use is how it can be used as an insult. For instance...

We're not drunk enough to get it on

I need Viagra!

Cause you're too ugly to turn me on

Some people consider Brokencyde some kind of genius performance art that holds up a mirror to the society it appears to epitomize. Some people make meth in a Walmart. Who's to say which is truly the greater act of creative creation?

Revolting Cocks feat. Jello Biafra, "Viagra Culture": We'll end with the best. 2006's Cocked and Loaded was one of the best RevCo albums ever, with guest stars like Robin Zander, Billy Gibbons and of course Jello Biafra. At nine minutes long, "Viagra Culture" is an uncomfortably long pounding playacting as the uncontrollable id of a consumerist nation bent on the final touchdown that is conspicuous wealth and status.

It's hard to think of a more American lyric than, "My wiener must win."


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