Kirko Bangz Debuts New Mixtape, Makes Women Excited
Kirko Bangz is, at the moment, the most commercially viable option within the New Houston Collective. Tuesday night, he released his DJ Drama cosigned mixtape, Procrastination Kills 3, and hosted a mixer at SF2 to celebrate.
They handed out free copies of the tape while he chatted up everyone and posed for pictures with whoever could wiggle their way up to his table and ask for one. The tape played the entire time. We took some notes on both.
Notes about the album are preempted with "#AlbumNotes" and notes about the mixer are preempted with "#MixerNotes." You likely could've figured that out even if we hadn't told you. Ah well.
Here we go:
Kelsea Ballerini - The First Time Tour
TicketsWed., Dec. 14, 7:00pm
MIX 96.5 Not So Silent Night with Train and Fitz & the Tantrums
TicketsThu., Dec. 15, 8:00pm
Flosstradamus - Hi Def Youth Tour 2016
TicketsFri., Dec. 16, 8:00pm
TicketsSun., Dec. 18, 8:00pm
Back In Black
TicketsThu., Dec. 22, 7:00pm
#AlbumNotes PK3 is easily the most professional, well packaged product that Kirko has released. He's come a ways from uploading grainy videos of himself freestyling to his computer monitor, and that's been neat to watch. Given the relative newness of his career and the readiness of the Internet, one can easily connect the dots from his rap genesis to today if you've missed his rise thus far, and that is a lot of cool and a little startling.
#MixerNotes It took all of about nine seconds to figure out why it is that everyone who meets Bangz swoons over him. The very first thing he said to the packed, packed, packed room: "Ay, it's Kirko back here. You can't see me; I'm the little guy. I was scared and shit to come over here because my partner told me there wasn't nobody here, so I was hanging out behind Taco Cabana for like an hour. Thanks for coming out." Wins.
#AlbumNotes To date, Kirko's most well known song is his "What Yo Name Iz," a big radio effort that's more catchy than it should be. It's on the tape, but it's hardly the blueprint. There seems to be a clear "I Can Do More Than That"-iness subtext. And he mostly succeeds in that idea. He goes absolutely yo-yo on his redub of Travis Porter's "Make It Rain," easily the most fun, most auspicious track on the tape.
He proves to be an adept storyteller on the cathartic "Doing Fine." And he utilizes the occasional saxophone or flute flutter just because. It will not revolutionize the dynamics of a mixtape -it's fairly traditional in that regard--but it will help alter your idea of what he is and what he plans to do.
#MixerNotes Did you know that if you get an edge-up, you now have the option to make your hairline darker (which makes the shape more distinct) by, essentially, having the barber spray paint your hair? Because that's an actual thing. And that shit looks just as ridiculous as it sounds.
#MixerNotes They were passing bottles of Ciroc and red plastic cups around so people could drink, which is never a bad idea.
#AlbumNotes Bangz mentions having sex approximately 174 times on the tape. The most wayward slang term he uses to mean vagina: Snapper. Could you imagine if vaginas could snap shut like a bear trap? That shit would switch the whole Man/Woman game up entirely. The non-existence of Bear Trap Vaginas should be indisputable proof that whatever higher power exists is in possession of a penis. Debate over.
#MixerNotes A bunch of other artists showed up. In no particular order, you had: Delo, H-Kane, Yung Quis, Yung Truth, Preemo, KAB tha Don, The Beez and more. The most unexpected cameo: Lil O. That was neat.
#MixerNotes Speaking of, as we wondered around the room starting conversations with strangers in hopes that they would say something interesting - which almost always works so long as you smile and laugh and say something self-deprecating within the first 45 seconds - we met a young lady who looked like she absolutely did not want to be there. When asked how she heard about the mixer, she responded, "Kab's my boyfriend." Kab would be KAB Tha Don. It appears that even the surliest of monsters is not above the temptation of a woman's affections.
Lil O (left), Beat Kings and Just Brittany
#AlbumNotes On "Billy Badd Ass," Bangz appears to admit to taping up a woman, throwing her in the trunk of a car and setting it on fire, which is easily the most surprising admission on the tape.
#MixerNotes If you have stitching on your pants that does anything other than hold pieces of denim together, then you're likely a moron. If you have tattoos on your face, then you're for certain a moron.
#AlbumNotes The first thing you think about when you hear a Kirko song is how the female demographic will absorb it (as it is, his fan base appears to be majority femmes, a none too surprising fact; he's young, handsome, cocky and just wounded enough by life to have a mysterious side without it involving an excessive number of homicides). He has a song called "Don't Fall 4 Me" about how a girl that he only wanted to bed eventually fell in love with him despite his warnings.
Girls will no doubt hear it and think, "I can change him." He has a song that comes on immediately after that one called "Trippin' On Her" that is essentially the inverse of that situation. Girls will no doubt hear it and think, "I would never do that to him." He has a song called "H-Town Presidentz" that is in no way about women. Girls will no doubt hear it and think, "Why is this song in no way about women? What does it REALLY mean?"
The point: Mr. Bangz will not be without his choice of bedfellows for the immediate future. And this will inevitably make him more popular with men. The grander point: A few more correct steps, and Mr. Bangz will sell a nice amount of copies of his proper debut album.
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