When Rocks Off started asking local musicians to fill out music-related lists as suggested in Lisa Nola's Music Listography, we never expected to get one like this one from one-man skronk-blues machine Room 101, known to a few select people as Roburt Reynolds. Reynolds, who plays Thursday at the Mink with Digital Leather, the Energy and DJ Psychedelic Sex Panther, and again Friday at the Canvas (708 Telephone Rd.) with Giant Princess, Strictly Buisness, DogHouse and the Dead Leslies, chose to fill out "List Bands You Do NOT Like." All well and good. But, as you'll soon see, he went a little above and beyond the call of duty. Which is why, of course, we started this in the first place. Enjoy. 1. I don't like bands of military officers trained at The School of the Americas (Western Hemisphere Institute for Security Cooperation). They are involved and engaged in committing decades of human rights violations, torture, murder, indigenous massacres, indigenous displacement, corrupt, brutal, and puppeteered governments, and the destruction of REAL humanity (from the Atlacatl in El Salvador to the current regime in Honduras). These bands of military officers have been trained by United States and International Military personnel on United States soil (Fort Benning, Georgia) for over 60 years. 2. I don't like any band or group or rapper or crew or set that wears blazers (with pre-aged denim), Pastel colored Nikes, '80's throwback' ideology, or claims to be 'bi' solely so that they can 'get theirs.' Vain foolishness and consumer elitism. 3. I can't STAND that one band that started so that they could 'get girls.' Save us all the whack music and just masturbate without an instrument. 4. That other band that sings about machismo and chauvinism in a way that is demeaning those who've spent so much time carrying us around in their guts and giving birth to our ungrateful selves. Even hard rocks love their mother. If they don't, they wish they did when they cry themselves to sleep at night. 5. Any group that samples Journey or REO or Boston. Please, give me a break. Just because corny cats that were dorks in school are now just putting on white belts, throat beards, 'getting into fashion' and acting flashy like they are changing musical and artistic apathy through sampling the whackest of music because it's 'ironic' doesn't ACTUALLY mean they or you are doing anything other than what you are. (Putting on white belts, throat beards, acting flashy, and making nothing new out of old garbage.) Acting like you think you are hip does not actually make you hip. Really, it makes you look an American Apparrel commerical. Or even just a commercial. P.S. - Sexual promiscuity and being a 'super-hoe' is not liberation. That's true for boys and girls. Stop playing into your enemy's hands. Culture death is self-imposed.
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6. These bands that actually believe in themselves as their own 'product placement.' You are soul-less when you believe you are a commodity. You'll be even less if you make it to SONY. 7. I DO NOT LIKE bands of international central bankers (IMF, World Bank, IFC, Federal Reserve, etc) who use their feigned platform of false economic philanthropy to financially enslave populations throughout the world in the name of globalization - or any other name for that matter. The International Criminal Court should include some cases on global financial usury, neo-liberalism, and totalitarianism/fascism by any name. Gloablization is not a happy ending, nor a solution. It is the smiley-faced mask of your next 'Massa.' 8. I DO NOT LIKE bands of citizens that meander around, talking 'water cooler politics' as if they know something, let alone know everything, while trying to preach to people about what they should be doing. Often, the ONLY research they have done came from sitting on their asses and repeating what they have been told to be told by whom they cannot even cite. Get it straight, Guantanamo is coming home. 9. Oh, yeah, and I HATE bands of mercinaries and their employers. Boy, are they mean and opportunistic. This means you, Blackwater, or whatever your name is (XE Services LLC), KBR, DynCorp, Aerospace Corporation, General Dynamics, Bechtel, Northrop Grumman, pick one. 10. I DO NOT LIKE the ban on photos or videos or dead U.S. soldiers being reinstituted. This is flat-out censorship. Yes, under Obama. Yes, in this day and age. If you support the war, you should have to look at its realities, no matter how harsh. If you are not in support of it, then you should be in favor of people seeing these images so that they may help others awaken from the slumber of blind following and/or looking the other way. Oh sorry, I thought it was 'ban', not 'band'....maybe we can use 'banned'.