A contentious and cantankerous mid-term election season is upon us, and the AM dial is so full of hot air that Rocks Off is surprised our Matrix hasn't started floating. Without taking a seat on either side of the aisle, it's undeniable that a real current of anti-incumbent sentiment is prevalent throughout much of the country.

This has led to some... interesting people receiving nominations for both parties. Rocks Off figured, as long as Delaware is going to have a nominee with a self-admitted history including witchcraft and a dedicated crusade against dancing with yourself (uh-oh uh-oh), then why not let some of Houston's local rock stars throw their chapeaus into the arena?

Ladies and gentlemen, Rocks Off presents - no, PROUDLY presents - the three candidates from our wholly invented office, Comptroller of Hell Yeah!.

Dremaceo Giles, The Lotus Effect:

If elected Comptroller of Hell Yeah!, I will make it a crime to exchange money for music. Buying music is heinous and all music should be free, that includes CDs, downloads, concerts and festivals. In exchange musicians will be subsidized by government grants with more money going to the band that has the most members on their Facebook fan page.

I will lower the legal drinking age to 16, but I'm originally from New Orleans where it's like that anyway. In exchange, I will mandate the minimum alcohol content to 80 proof.

I will relocate all federal prisons to space stations, so if you commit a heinous crime, you will just be shot off into space where there won't be no coming back. I will also designate August 14 as National Nude Day, so that we as Americans can gain a better appreciation of the human form, preferably female.

And that to me, sirs and madams, is change I can believe in.