Lyrical Life Lessons: Hell Hath No Fury Like A Woman Scorned
Blame it on the humidity, but there's something about Houston that makes women go off the deep end. In fact, the Bayou City is home to three of the past decade's most notorious female-perpetrated crimes.
There was Dr. Clara Harris (2002), who responded to the news of her husband's infidelity by running him over with her car. Three times. Or Susan Wright (2003), who claimed "battered wife syndrome" as a defense for stabbing her husband 193 times. And, our personal favorite, astronaut Lisa Nowak (2007), who drove straight across five states - in diapers - to abduct her romantic rival at the Orlando airport.
The crimes are shocking, but the intensity of a woman's wrath is nothing new, having been played out in song time and time again. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, especially one in cowboy boots. After all, revenge makes for a much sexier music video than crying in the fetal position over a gallon of ice cream.
The message, according to the music: If you're low enough to lay a hand on your gal, you'd better be wearing a bulletproof vest. And if you're cheating on her, well, we just hope your car insurance is up-to-date.
Hey, we never said that all of the lessons to be gleaned from lyrics are good ones. Follow the advice of any of the women listed below and you're likely to end up in handcuffs, possibly facing felony charges. But dammit if they aren't a hell of a lot of fun to sing along with.
Miranda Lambert, "Gunpowder & Lead"
His fist is big, but her gun is bigger.
Miranda Lambert, "Kerosene"
If you gave it everything you had, and everything you got was bad, light 'em up an watch 'em burn, teach 'em what they have to learn. Yeeeeehaw!
Carrie Underwood, "Before He Cheats"
Honestly, she dodged a bullet. Who wants to date a guy wearing three dollars worth of that bathroom Polo?
Jazmine Sullivan, "Bust Your Windows"
You break her heart, she breaks your car.
Loretta Lynn, "Fist City"
We can't picture Loretta picking anyone off the ground (by the hair of the head), but we love the sweet smile on her face when she sings about it.
Ann Peebles, "Breaking Up Somebody's Home"
Home-wrecking never sounded so sexy.
Get the ICYMI: Today's Top Stories Newsletter Our daily newsletter delivers quick clicks to keep you in the know
Catch up on the day's news and stay informed with our daily digest of the most popular news, music, food and arts stories in Houston, delivered to your inbox Monday through Friday.