My Disabled Wife Won't Put Out. Help!
Welcome to Ask Willie D, Rocks Off's advice column where the Geto Boys MC answers reader questions about matters, in his own words, "funny, serious or unpredictable." Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!
Photo by Mario Jaramillo
I WANT TO GET RID OF AN ANNOYING FRIEND
Dear Willie D:
I made the colossal mistake of befriending a girl that I met on Facebook. She was a friend of a friend so we just started following each other and liking one another's updates. After knowing her for less than a week she asked if I wanted to meet up at a popular bar for happy hour. Even though I thought it was too soon to be hanging out with someone I didn't really know, considering we both were females and in the same circle, I threw caution to the wind and met up with her anyway.
She arrived at the bar before I did and had already ordered appetizers, which was fine by me because I was hungry. As I took my seat at the bar the waiter asked me what I wanted to drink and she suggested, or shall I say ordered the same thing she was drinking for me. Now I'm thinking to myself, "control freak."
I sat there for two hours and forty-five minutes [waiting for traffic to clear up] listening to her talk about everything from her deaf cat to her brother's vasectomy. Once I heard her talking her own sister's business I had decided not to divulge anything to her about my personal life that she wasn't already privy to through Facebook.
It's been two weeks since we met up and I swear she text messages me everyday sending me invites to parties and asking if I want to hook up again. I've learned my lesson about online friends. How do I get rid of this girl without looking like a bad person?
The next time she contacts you, you could be direct with her and say, hey I think you're a cool person, but I don't believe we're compatible as friends. If you have to take it a step further block her on your phone, and on Facebook. If you have a tough time with confronting people, sense you have no real history with her it may be easier for you to simply ignore her.
There's really no polite way to get rid of a friend. However, you could let her get rid of herself by saying this: "Hey, I'm headed home to eat one of my friends for dinner - wanna come?"
MY DISABLED WIFE WON'T PUT OUT
Dear Willie D:
I am a 30-year-old man in my sexual prime and I have been road-blocked by my wife because of her handicap. She has been in rehab now for over a year, and manages to do things around the house. She even drives herself to therapy and runs errands. But when it comes to a little physical affection for me, she is never in the mood.
When I tell her how I feel she becomes angry and defensive; telling me I'm selfish and that I should be more considerate of what she is going through. She has told me that she will divorce me if I cheat on her. I feel like I have been more than patient. I have a strong desire to have an affair. I'm just torn between my sexual urges and the wedding vow I made to my wife to be faithful. What's a man to do, Willie?
Road-blocked from the cookies at 30, huh? Let us pray...okay, moving on. Actually I agree with your wife. You are selfish and you should be more considerate of her condition. When it comes to women, you can't compare the physicality of household chores and errands with the emotionality of sexual intercourse. When I was 30, I probably would have tried to have my cake and eat it too by stepping out.
Today, if something in my relationship bothered me enough to cause me to consider the affection of another woman, I would leave before cheating. While a woman's body is something to be marveled at, I'm more impressed with her spirit. That said, your wife would be remiss to think that your sexual urges has vanished just because hers has. She don't have to go all-out to break you off a little something, but sweet lips go a long ways in bitter times.
More Ask Willie D queries on the next page.
Dear Willie D:
I went on a tour of a prison facility recently with a discovery group, and one of the ladies in our group was sexually assaulted in the restroom by an inmate who was taking classes in the classroom we lectured in. We found out later that the inmate was a sex offender. She is now suing the Department of Corrections.
Being a female myself, I don't understand how in the world prison officials allow sex offenders to roam about freely and unsupervised while female visitors are on site. I don't think my tax dollars should be spent on educating criminals. Sex offenders can't be rehabilitated. I say let them rot in prison, or execute them before they strike again. What do you say?
If more criminals were academically educated, the recidivism rate would not be so high. Eventually the vast majority of criminals will be released back into society, and many will make an attempt to walk the straight and narrow, and become productive citizens.
I'm thinking an educated criminal has a better chance of walking the straight and narrow than an uneducated one. But sex offenders...well, that's another story.
DO YOU BELIEVE IN LIFE AFTER DEATH?
Dear Willie D:
It is said that, "When a man dies, his body returns to dust and his spirit/soul returns to God where he continues as a disembodied spirit continuing in a conscious state awaiting judgment." This is my belief. Do you believe in the afterlife, or do you believe we simply cease to exist?
I believe after life is death, and that's it. However, like you, there are many people who subscribe to the hereafter. The debate is one that won't have to worry about a rebirth because it will never die. The non-believers want proof, and the believers don't need proof. The only people who know for certain are all dead, and they're not talking.
PREVIOUSLY ON ASK WILLIE D
Ask Willie D anything at askwillied.com, and come back next Thursday for more of his best answers.
ROCKS OFF'S GREATEST HITS
The Ask Willie D Archives Houston's Top 10 Hipster Bars, Clubs & Icehouses 2014 Today's 10 Most Promising Young Metal Bands Hip-Hop's Seven Best Breakup Songs Houston's Top 10 Rooftop Bars and Lounges
Get the Music Newsletter
Keep your thumb on the local music scene each week with music news, trends, artist interviews and concert listings. We'll also send you special ticket offers and music deals.