My Girlfriend Calls Me Too Much. Help!
Welcome to Ask Willie D, Rocks Off's advice column where the Geto Boys MC answers reader questions about matters, in his own words, "funny, serious or unpredictable." Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!
Photo by Mario Jaramillo
NOT FEELING IMPORTANT TO MY BOYFRIEND
Dear Willie D:
My boyfriend of two years told me that he was moving away to attend college. When I told him I was going to try to get into the same school, he told me it was a bad idea. When I asked him why, he just danced around the issue, saying that we wouldn't be able to concentrate on our studies because we would be together all of the time. I don't understand. We're together all the time now and both of us make good grades.
We are seniors about to graduate. I'm an old-fashioned girl who believes in growing old with the man I love. Regardless of the obstacles you face, you find a way to stay together no matter what. But his actions are making me nervous. I'm thinking maybe it has something to do with the fact that we are of two zodiac signs that aren't supposed to get alone: he's a Capricorn, and I'm an Aquarius.
Is it possible that our relationship won't work because of our incompatible astrology elements?
First of all, young lady, you have your whole life in front of you. Give your boyfriend his space, and let him attend college alone. If it's meant to be, the distance won't change your relationship status.
Secondly, don't believe that astrology s---. Horoscopes are fun to read, and to use as a conversation piece, but they are so broad in range that they can be applied to almost anyone at any given time. No one knows what the future holds. As Marvin Gaye once said, "There's only three things that's for sure: taxes, death and trouble -- this I know."
MY GIRLFRIEND CALLS ME TOO MUCH
Dear Willie D:
Next week will commemorate eight months that I have been dating my girlfriend. Until a few days ago we lived in separate households, so we spent quite a bit of time talking on the phone. She works the night shift for a rental-car company located at the airport. Because it's generally slow, she has a lot of free time on her hands, which she uses to call me.
I love talking to her, but I work the late shift also, and I don't have all the free time she does. I'm a tow-truck driver, and I work one of the busiest highways in Chicago. The other day she called me three times within 20 minutes so I got angry, and said some things about her being clingy. After she got upset, I apologized and recanted, but I really meant what I said.
I don't have the time to talk to her all day, but by the same token I'm trying to be there for her by keeping an open line of communication. How can I get her to bring down her call volume without tuning me out?
All Talked Out:
Sometimes when people don't have anything to do they assume neither do you, so have to have a candid discussion with your girlfriend, and tell her how you feel. You don't have to tell her that she calls you too much; just tell her you'll call her when you get a minute, or when you take a break. Be considerate of her feelings. Let her know that you don't like talking to her when you're busy because you can't give her your undivided attention.
Whatever you do don't make her feel that you don't appreciate her calls because if she stops calling to talk to you she will start calling to talk to someone else. All things considered, that someone else is not going to mind her calling him three times within 20 minutes; at least not until he gets her to take her clothes off.
More Ask Willie D on the next page.
Dear Willie D:
My mother has never been fair with me. She was always gone away from home when I was growing up, and has never supported me in any of my endeavors. So when she called me up to offer to sell her car to me under market value, I should have known it was too good to be true. I bought the car one day and the next day the transmission went out.
When I told her about the problem, she said the transmission was fine when she sold the car to me and she refused to give me my money back. Since I don't have a warranty and the car is only worth $2,500 in running condition, I'm basically stuck. What kind of mother treats her own son that way?
What type of mother treats her own son that way? A sorry one. To run a con on your own child is pretty low. The Geto Boys song "Damn It Feels Good to Be a Gangsta" comes to mind.
I DON'T WANT TO BE GODMOTHER TO MY FRIEND'S CHILD
Dear Willie D:
Earlier today I was at my friend's baby shower. As she was opening her gifts a mutual friend joked about how expensive the crystal was that I bought for the baby's room. She in turn replied, "Yeah, her godmother is going to spoil her to death." Caught off-guard by the revelation I just laughed, but deep down inside I wanted to scream. While I appreciate being held in such high regard I'm just not up for the job.
I love my friend, but I don't want to be on the hook for buying gifts, and more importantly spending time with a kid who in all likelihood will not be properly raised. She has two other kids and both of them have disciplinary problems. Furthermore, if something happened to her I wouldn't want to be trying to raise an out-of-control kid. Should I tell her I'm not interested or be honored and accept the responsibility?
Tell her you're not interested. Also, if those kids are as bad as you say they are you should ask your friend to return the gift so you can swap it for a parenting classes gift certificate.
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Ask Willie D anything at askwillied.com, and come back next Thursday for more of his best answers.
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