My Girlfriend Is Blackmailing Me. Help!
Jeff Fitlow

My Girlfriend Is Blackmailing Me. Help!

Dear Willie D:

My girlfriend of three and a half years is blackmailing me by threatening to move out of the country with my daughter if I break up with her. She is a classic psycho. She screams at me and my daughter, throws things at me, and she once tried to kill herself by cutting her wrist. Just about everybody on her side of the family has some form of depression.

She has been pressuring me to marry her since she lied and told her mom that we were married. I don’t know what to do. I feel stuck. I love her, but I can no longer live with her. How do I get away from her while staying close to my daughter?

Feeling Stuck:

Forget staying close to your daughter. You need to remove your daughter out of harm’s way. Her mother sounds dangerous and should be considered for psychological evaluation.

If you’re named on your daughter’s birth certificate, you need to obtain parental responsibility with your girlfriend or through the courts, and get a summons from the court that contains a restraining order that forbids either of you from taking the child out of the country without the other parent’s written permission.

Talk to a lawyer, and get some clarification on the matter quickly. You're asleep at the wheel, heading for Dead Man's Curve.

MY PROBATION OFFICER DOESN'T LIKE ME

Dear Willie D:

I am on probation for three years for two X pills, but I am also pregnant. I have been doing good, not smoking or anything. I have been clean since I got on probation, but they are trying to take me to jail because I am behind on payments.

The [probation] officer I have doesn't like me. I asked for a different officer, but they said I don’t have a right to get another one if things are not working out.

I was living in Waxahachie, but they told me I could not stay there because I was living with my aunt and uncle, and my uncle is a convicted felon. So I moved to Dallas, but they won’t let me transfer my case there. What do I do?

On Probation:

When I spoke with a friend of mine who is a former probation officer, he said it sounds like you need to go back to your attorney and talk to him regarding your residence, especially since that was your residence when you received probation.

Every county is a little different, but all counties are dead serious about probationers' being in compliance with their conditions. The courts seldom lock people up for nonpayment alone. But I wouldn’t chance it.

I’M IN LOVE WITH MY FRIEND

Dear Willie D:

I have a good male friend who has been stuck in the friend zone for more than ten years. He has expressed his feelings for me many times, but I rejected him because I didn’t want to compromise our friendship. Well, I’m recently out of a long-term relationship and he’s single.

I had to remind myself that everything I’m looking for in a man is in my friend, who is kind, loving and generous. It’s been a long time since he’s made a pass at me, and I don’t know if he ever will again. So, I’m thinking that I will have to make the first move if I want to be with him. How should I approach this?

First Move:

Seduce him! Put on something sexy and seduce him. He will not be able to resist. Agree to go to dinner or a movie with him. If you prefer, stay home and play a board game, watch television or drink a little wine and talk. The wine is for the awkwardness of friends crossing the line. It will make both of you forget your inhibitions.

Talk about anything, and turn the conversation to sex. You can say something like, "My friend said she and her boyfriend had sex upside down. Have you ever done something like that?" From there, simply ask more questions, and engage him. He will get turned on, and when he does, give him what he’s been dreaming of all these years.

Don’t tell him right away that you’re in love. Stay the course with spending quality time with him, and watch your friend zone status change before your eyes.

DO YOU THINK MY GIRL IS A SLUT?

Dear Willie D:

My 24-year-old girlfriend of one year told me she had only been with three guys in her entire life. Well, come to find out it’s been more like 30 – and that’s just the ones she wrote about. She went out with her friends a few days ago, and I read her diary when I stayed at her apartment. It was sitting on the nightstand in her bedroom, and I couldn’t help myself from taking a peep.

She even took the time to sex-grade them by posting letters next to their names. After I confronted her, she tried to turn the tables on me and critique my past sexual encounters. She confessed to me that "G" stood for great, “A” for average, and “NA” for never again. Willie, I thought she was a diamond in the rough, but now I feel like I have a rock in the mud lying in my bed. Is my girl a slut or what?

Taking a Peep:

I don’t know if your girlfriend is a slut or not. Maybe she is; maybe she isn’t. Although 30 sex partners is a lot, especially by societal standards for a woman, I’m not sure if her “body” count alone is enough to warrant such a title. Did she let her sister’s husband smash? Were five of those at the team trainer’s house with members of the Houston Rockets starting lineup?

Here’s the deal. Nothing about your girl has changed overnight except your perception of her. The past is the past. But if her sleeping with 30 guys is too much for you to handle, then leave. No sense in prolonging the inevitable.

Ask Willie D anything at willied.com/ask-willie-d, and come back next Thursday for more of his best answers.

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