Welcome to Ask Willie D, Rocks Off's advice column where the Geto Boys MC answers reader questions about matters, in his own words, "funny, serious or unpredictable." Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!
I'M NEVER GOING TO MARRY MY LAZY GIRLFRIEND
Dear Willie D:
I've been living with my girl for over three years now, and she is starting to pressure me for marriage. I love her, but not as a long-term mate. She's beautiful and fun to be around, but I think I can do better. The main reason for my hesitation is because she doesn't have any ambitions.
She forgets my birthdays, appointments, and seldom lifts a finger around the house to clean up. She also sometimes goes several months without a job, leaving me to cover the rent alone. Every year I move up career-wise, but she seems to be stuck in neutral. Since I've been dating her she has had at least five jobs, and all of them have been minimum-wage or commission-based.
She just doesn't seem interested in getting ahead in life. I can't see myself marrying her, but I don't know how to let go. What should I do?
Career Ambitions:
You said that your girlfriend is beautiful and fun to be around. So are puppies, but at least puppies don't complain, and earn their keep by providing a layer of protection to you via barking whenever a strange car pulls up in your driveway or someone approaches your house.
You know what you have to do. Your girl is a self-absorbed bum, and like any good bum, as long as you enable her she has no incentive to change.
MY SON'S TEACHER DRESSES LIKE A SLUT!
Dear Willie D:
The first time I saw my son's teacher walking the hallway of his school I thought she was one of those young immature mothers who hadn't quite learned the meaning of "class" in appropriate settings.
She wears the skimpiest clothes. Everything she wears is skintight, and her skirts are always way above the knees. I want to report her, but I don't want her mistreating my son for something I did. What do you think I should do?
Appropriate Settings:
Look away and send pictures, please.
HOW CAN I BE CORDIAL WITH MY DAUGHTER'S MOTHER AND MAKE MY WIFE HAPPY AT THE SAME TIME?
Dear Willie D:
I have full custody of my 4-year-old daughter who lives with me and my new wife. My daughter gets along with my wife extremely well, which makes her mother jealous at times. To keep her mother from imploding I have to be cordial with her, but my wife don't understand that. When I communicate with my wife she wants me to be dry and dismissive.
I tell her that trying to downgrade my ex or inciting anger will only make dealing with her harder. She can't stand to see me being polite to my ex, but I have to remind her that she's still my child's mother. How do I get her to understand that being civil benefits all parties, including my daughter?
Civil Benefits:
Reassure your wife how much you love her, and reiterate to her that the only thing your ex has that you want is a relationship with your daughter.
Your wife needs to get out of her feelings, and understand that it's not about her, it's about the child. I commend you for making the effort to be civil towards your child's mother. It shows maturity, and will go a long way in the mental and emotional development of your daughter. Co-parenting is not easy. But when done correctly, everybody wins; especially the kids.
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