My Mother Is a Pregnant Grandma. Help!
Photo by Jeff Fitlow
MY MOTHER IS A PREGNANT GRANDMOTHER!
Dear Willie D:
Let me start by saying that I love my mom to death. But lately she has been acting irresponsible. I left home three years ago, and have since started my own family. I have a wonderful husband and a two-year-old girl.
My mom and dad split years ago. All the time my mom was raising me, I thought she was the most dynamic woman in the world. But the year before I left home, she started seeing younger men. Now she is pregnant with a baby girl by a guy the same age as me (25), and they’re getting married in six months. What’s worse is that he’s a loser with all caps!
He doesn’t have a job, and he has no class. How do I explain to my two-year-old, who will be three by the time the baby arrives, that she has an aunt who is younger than she is, and a grandfather the same age as her mother?
Just tell her she has a new aunt. You don’t have to go into details about ages and all that stuff. She’ll figure that out as time goes by.
I was just thinking, if your unborn sister loves her niece the way most aunts love their nieces, it’s going to be interesting watching your sister feed her niece and tuck her in at sleepovers.
I WANT MY STEPFATHER GONE
Dear Willie D:
I have a strong hatred for my stepfather. Every now and then, he’ll do something that makes me think he might be a good guy, such as buying me a gift for my birthday, but overall he is a pain. He and my mom have been together for eight years of hell. I witnessed three of those years while living under the same roof with them. Now I live alone and with my boyfriend.
I talk to my mom every day, and about half the time we talk, I can hear him in the background cursing at her. My mom won’t leave him because she says that she married for better or worse. I really hate how he treats my mom. How can I get her to see that she deserves better?
Let your mom know that you support her and that if ever she wants to get out of her situation, she can live with you. Other than that, as long as she isn’t in any physical danger, stay out of it. Trying to get a grown woman to do something she doesn’t want to do is like heckling a comedian in a packed arena from the top row in the back. You can’t win.
MY COMPUTER GUY IS A CRIMINAL
Dear Willie D:
I used the app Offer Up to buy a pair of Michael Kors ladies' boots. My boyfriend and I met the guy at a restaurant near my house. As he showed me the boots, I revealed to him that I had trouble seeing the picture clearly because the screen on my laptop was damaged. He then told me that he also repair computers, and offered to fix mine for $250.
So after carefully inspecting the boots for traces of counterfeiting, I bought them, and we followed the guy to his shop a short distance away. When we got to the shop, the guy who actually does the repairs came out from the back office. While he was fixing my computer, my boyfriend whispered to me that the repair guy was wanted for indecent exposure.
He said he knew the guy from another computer repair shop on the other side of town, close to where his friend lives. I looked it up on the Internet that indecent exposure is a misdemeanor. So my question is, should we turn the guy in or turn a blind eye to the matter?
Well, if the indecent exposure was perpetrated against a child, the elderly, a family member, a non-family member, my girlfriend, my neighbors, my homeroom teacher Mrs. Oliver from Forest Brook High School, a Houstonian, any Krispy Kreme employee or Willie D fan, I would turn him in with a blind eye — after I socked him in the face a few times.
CONFUSED ABOUT MY FEELINGS
Dear Willie D:
In the past year that I have been dating my girl, we have broken up at least a dozen times over trivial things. But the last time was different. It’s been more than a month. We talk on the phone but we haven’t been intimate, and we haven’t hung out at all.
She tells me she still loves me, but refuses to see me in person. She even called to wish me happy birthday, and sent me a nice gift. I don’t think she’s seeing someone else, and I really want to get back together. What do I need to do to win my girl back?
The bad news is the longer she refuses to see you, the greater the chances are that she will move on. But here’s the good news: She is still talking to you, and she sent you a birthday gift. That’s huge! Women don’t generally spend money on dudes they don’t care about.
She said she loves you. That’s cool, but you want to get back to her being in love with you. To get there, you need to give her as much space as she needs. Show her you’re the man for her like you did in the beginning by listening, and validating her feelings. Proving to your girl that you’re Mr. Right is not a one-time event.
Keep fighting for your girl, man, because as the great Lenny Kravitz put it, “It ain’t over till it’s over.”
Ask Willie D anything at askwillied.com, and come back next Thursday for more of his best answers.
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