My Neighbor Is Creeping Me Out. Help!
Welcome to Ask Willie D, Rocks Off's advice column where the Geto Boys MC answers reader questions about matters, in his own words, "funny, serious or unpredictable." Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!
Photo by Mario Jaramillo
I'M WORRIED ABOUT MY SON
Dear Willie D:
My son is 15 years old and he doesn't have any friends. He spends most of his time in his room on his computer, and listening to music. He only comes out to eat, use the bathroom, and leave the house. When I ask him if there is something bothering him, he always says no. Every time he leaves home for school I search his room for drugs and other clues that might signal trouble, but I can't find anything.
He is a good student, and doesn't cause trouble. However, to be his age and be so anti-social is not normal. Call it mother's intuition, but I believe he's hiding something. What are your thoughts?
Try to include your son in your activities, or inject yourself into his. When my son was five he started watching the National Geographic Channel, so I started watching it too. I researched information about exotic animals and the wilderness and discussed my findings with him. The shared interest opened a new line of communication, and helped to strengthen our bond.
Sometimes when your son is in his room with the door closed, just go in and sit on his bed with him for a few minutes and talk about random things. It doesn't have to be important. What you're doing is showing him that you care enough to put your life on pause for him. Whether a teenager is troubled or not, often they tend to retreat to their own little world. Let him have his space, but don't let him shut you out. Monitor him closely, but more importantly let him know he is loved by keeping an open line of communication and continuing to support him.
PLEASE TELL ME HOW TO STOP MY NEIGHBOR FROM CREEPING ME OUT?
Dear Willie D:
I live in an apartment complex where I have to pass by my neighbor's front door to get to my house. He often leaves his door cracked just to make sure he doesn't miss me when I pass by. When he sees me he stands in the doorway and tries to make small talk. He's always asking me about my boyfriend, and staring at me like he wants to devour me.
I have given him the cold shoulder on numerous occasions. I never initiate conversation with him, and when he speaks to me I say the least amount of words to end the conversation as soon as possible; all the while moving inside of my apartment or away from it. He hasn't broken any laws, but he seems like the type that would.
He is a first-class creep. I like my apartment, so I don't want to move. How do I get this creep out of my life?
You could just tell him to back off, which might stop him from speaking to you, but he'll still be staring - can't tell people where to look. Unfortunately, if you want to rid yourself of Mr. Wonderful, you're probably going to have to move.
Prying neighbors are right up there with loud and obnoxious ones; and it's even worse when the only thing separating you from being disturbed is a paper thin wall or floor. They don't call it an apartment "complex" for nothing.
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Dear Willie D:
When a woman is being pursued by a good-looking guy it's usually a good thing. But I can't understand why this certain guy wants to date me so much; I don't give him any play. I work in the reception area of an upscale building, and each time before riding the elevator up to his posh company [located on the penthouse floor], he makes it a point to stop by my desk and speak to me.
He drives an Aston Martin, and has countless females in my office building vying for his attention, yet he throws himself at me over and over again only to be rejected. I don't get it. Why not just go for the easy prey, instead of pursuing someone like me who is cold and dismissive towards him?
The thrill of the chase is what turns him on about you. Don't get me wrong; there's a chance that he could be genuinely interested in you. Then again, it could be because he's used to getting what he wants and you're not getting with the program, he considers you a challenge and wants to conquer you to serve his ego.
If you're attracted to the guy and the only thing keeping you from hooking up with him is skepticism of his true intentions, I think you should drop your guard a little and go for it. Sure, other women may want him, but he wants you. Unless he shows you otherwise, take a chance. You never know.
MY BOSS IS JEALOUS OF MY SUCCESS
Dear Willie D:
I have a decent job pulling in over 40K each year after taxes. I work hard for my money, so I try to spend it wisely. After driving the same car for eight years I broke down and bought a new car [BMW 3 Series]. Everybody seemed to be happy for me except my boss.
I work at a tech company and the parking lot is directly in front of my company offices. The blinds are always open, so it's easy to see employees when they park. The first day I drove my new car to work my boss said, and I quote, "I see you got a BMW. I'm paying you too much." Since that day he's been on my back about every little thing as though he's trying to find a reason to fire me.
He scrutinizes my timesheet and my company expense card at every turn. He constantly rides me for no reason whatsoever. How do I get this guy off my back without losing my job?
Talk to your boss and tell him how you feel, but I doubt it'll help. He seems dead-set on getting rid of you. But go ahead and follow protocol, and address your concerns with him first. If things don't improve, and your boss has a boss, have a conversation with him or her to disclose what's going on.
If that doesn't work and your company is big enough, try to get reassigned to another division or location within the company, or file a formal complaint with its HR Department or your union. Follow up all complaints with an email or some type of official memo, and save all related documents for your records in case there's a grievance hearing or it ends up in court.
Once your boss has it in for you you're pretty much done; at the least you will be relocated. So don't wait for the ax to come down. Be proactive, stand up for yourself, and start considering new employment options immediately. The ceiling is leaking. It's only a matter of time before the roof caves in.
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