Welcome to Ask Willie D, Rocks Off's advice column where the Geto Boys MC answers reader questions about matters, in his own words, "funny, serious or unpredictable." Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!
THE GUY I LIKE IS A PLAYER
Dear Willie D:
For the past month I have been going out with a guy who is a known player. A part of me wants to surrender to him, but other parts of me remain reserved so that my feeling doesn't get hurt. How do I channel my emotions with this man?
The thing about hooking up with a player is a player will always feel entitled to play the field because you met him under those conditions. Have fun and enjoy his company if you must, but any type of happily-ever-after relationship is likely doomed. I feel for you because once your heart gets invested in a relationship it's hard to slam on the brakes and back up. But it beats running over something, or worse -- getting ran over.
MY FRIEND COMPLAINS ABOUT HER HEALTH ISSUES TOO MUCH
Dear Willie D:
I hate people who constantly complain about every little mishap in their life. I especially hate people who are paranoid about their health. I have a friend who is a classic hypochondriac; every health-related symptom is a medical emergency to her. If she gets a headache, she interprets it as a brain tumor. If she gets a bruise on her arm it might be leukemia. If her urine is yellow, she thinks she could be bleeding internally.
It is really annoying. I have tried to tell her to relax because worrying about what may or may not be will only serve to stress her out and make her sick. No matter what I say, she still worries. This has been going on for as long as I've known her, which is 18 years and counting. Can you think of anything I can tell her to calm her nerves.
Tell her if she don't stop worrying she's going to die.
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MY GIRLFRIEND'S SNORING IS DRIVING ME CRAZY
Dear Willie D:
My girlfriend snores so loud and uncontrollably that I'm thinking about breaking up with her. I mean it's bad like a rumbling sound, but she won't go to the doctor to cure herself. Over-the-counter medicines don't work for her. I was hoping maybe you could tell me what to say that might convince her to see a doctor for her condition?
I slept in the same bed with my older brother until I was 15. His snoring was so loud and annoying that I used to elbow and punch him to get him to stop. I'm not suggesting you swing on your girlfriend, but if she sleeps on her back like many people, rolling her over on her side might do the trick.
Tell your girlfriend you want her to see a doctor because it's not fair for her to be sleeping like a baby while you toss and turn all night because of her snoring. If she cares enough about the relationship she will do it. In the meantime, put on some ear plugs, turn up the radio or sleep in a different room.
I've never heard of anyone ending a relationship because his or her significant other snored too loudly. I don't think you would want to be the first man to own that dubious distinction.
I PREFER A SON OVER A DAUGHTER
Dear Willie D:
I'm not married or in a relationship at the moment, but I think about having children all the time. My gender preference would be a boy because boys are easier to deal with. Being a man, if I had a daughter I think I would be overprotective just because girls are so gullible and easy to run game on. Girls are also high maintenance.
It cost more to style their hair, dress them and you spend a lot of time worrying about their safety because most girls can't protect themselves as well as a boy can protect himself. This statement will probably upset your female readers, but I would rather have a son who is not all the way healthy than to have a daughter who is. Do you think it's normal for me to feel this way?
To say that you would rather have a son who is not all the way healthy than have a daughter who is healthy is frightening, and makes me question your mental capacity. Being blessed with a daughter encouraged me to be a better man. Because I'm aware that daughters generally choose men who have similar character traits as their fathers, I make it point to see to it that the image my daughter has of me is one of honor, love and respect.
I think boys are more gullible than girls. But I agree with you that girls are high-maintenance and fathers do generally spend a lot more time worrying about their safety than they do with their boys. When you have a son you have to worry about one penis. When you have a daughter you have to worry about all the penises.
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Ask Willie D anything at askwillied.com, and come back next Thursday for more of his best answers.
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