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Ask Willie D

My Next-Door Neighbors Are Peeping Toms. Help!

Welcome to Ask Willie D, Rocks Off's advice column where the Geto Boys MC answers reader questions about matters, in his own words, "funny, serious or unpredictable." Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!

WHY DO SMOKERS STAND RIGHT OUTSIDE OF DOORWAYS TO SMOKE?

Dear Willie D:

I have a healthy contempt for smokers who have no regard for the rest of society. If I was a smoker you would never catch me smoking cigarettes right outside of the doorway or in the direct path of nonsmokers. I mean seriously, if you want to kill yourself go right ahead, but don't take the rest of us out with you.

Smoking is hazardous to your health. As such, if a smoker causes a non-smoker to come into contact with smoke fumes they should be charged with assault, the same as any other person who causes bodily harm to an innocent person. Why do smokers have to stand right outside of doorways to smoke?

Healthy Contempt:

Here are my top 5 reasons why smokers stand near the entryway to buildings:

5. Companies tend to position ashtrays near entryways. 4. They want to take the shortest route to get to their destination. 3. Their lungs are so clouded with smoke that they can't walk much further past the door. 2. They will likely experience an early death and they want to take as many of us with them as possible. 1. They just don't give a damn.

MY NEXT-DOOR NEIGHBORS ARE PEEPING TOMS

Dear Willie D:

I live in a neighborhood where I'm under constant surveillance by my next-door neighbors. These people are the worst of the worst. On the first day that I moved into my house they literally pulled out lawn chairs, and watched my family carry our things into the house. They had no shame whatsoever.

Amused by their audacity, I grabbed a lamp out of my car and stared them down as I walked into the house. I once caught them peeping through their curtain while my husband and I were in the backyard lying out by the pool. My 8-year-old daughter was bringing in her roller skates from outdoors one day and the woman who lives there asked her was her father her real father.

That's when I lost it. I went to their house and told her to mind her own damn business, and if she have something that she wants to know about me or my child's father she should ask me or my husband, not a little kid. She tried to act like she didn't know what I was talking about. I thought after that they would stop stooping on us, but that incident was two years ago.

This situation has been going on for a total of three years. Do you have any suggestions on how I can stop them from being so nosy?

Under Surveillance:

When a neighbor is nosy it can be a blessing or a curse. Nosy neighbors generally help to deter crime. But sometimes you get that neighbor who is all up in your mix watching you so closely that it becomes creepy. Your neighbors seem to be suffering from Compulsive Nosy Neighbor Disorder (CND) -- just made that one up.

They are professional snoopers who will not be swayed, so here are your options: once a week you could call the police on them and report that there is a loud party going on with underage drinking, or you could move. I was going to tell you to get some binoculars and sit out in your front yard watching as they go about, but they seem like the type that would like the attention.

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Willie D is a member of the legendary hip hop band, the Geto Boys, the host and executive producer of the Willie D Live podcast, and an advice columnist for the Houston Press since 2013.
Contact: Willie D